A
female
age
36-40,
*oesgirl
writes:I have a really good friend that was arrested in december of '08...we aren't sure how much time he will be spending locked up. but the thing is i have always been there for him even when he was in a bad bike accident and i was there through the whole 9 yards with him.. He just recently asked me if i would consider being with him even though he is incarcerated for the time being.My question is: We both love each other very much, I just want to see what other people think on this. I want to be with him.. It is a good or bad decesion to start a relationship with someone that is in jail already?--------Mod note: this question is followed up by http://www.dearcupid.org/question/follow-up-starting-a-relationship-when-one-is.html
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female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (21 April 2009):
 I can't say it is a bad idea, because I do not know him. But typically, someone who ends up in jail is not good news.
If he is good to you, emotionally and physically, and has always been there for you, and you know he truly is a good person who will be able to come out of jail and continue with his life, trying every day to be a better man, then there is no problem.
If you doubt he can do any of the above, even just one thing, then I would back away from the situation.
I also think right now he is just very scared about his future, and needs support, and the easiest way for him to feel 100% supported is to have a girlfriend waiting on the other side for him. But if it turn out he is sentenced to 5 years, are you willing to wait that long before ever actually being with him? You won't be doing him any favor by starting a relationship at this time with him if you feel it has an expiration date.
A
female
reader, joesgirl +, writes (21 April 2009):
joesgirl is verified as being by the original poster of the question I just wanted to know if it was a good idea to start a relationship now as me waiting for him to come home or wait for him to come home?? i think that kinda makes the question easier
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2009): If he's been the friend you say he was before he went to jail, then what's the issue? You were there for him before, you knew what he was about.
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