A
male
age
36-40,
*regman430
writes:Hey everyone just needed a little bit of advice. I am in a dillema here. I have been with my girlfriend now going on 4 years and we have a 2 year old daughter together. We have been "Ok". We had our ups and downs. My life is kinda in shambles. I have had a serious gambling problem since I was 17. I am now 27 and still have the disease. I have tried GA. Didnt really work. So I decided to cut off my money supply by getting rid of my bank accounts and cutting up all credit cards. That's just a little bit of the problem. We live in a condo owned by my parents that I pay rent to every month.Well sort of? I'm starting a job in 2 weeks that cannot come any sooner because i am in debt out of my eyeballs. My gf and i just recently got into an argument wed night about 11pm that caused her to take the baby and go to her moms for the night. Which caused me to look bad on my half by her parents and family. So they said things like he is a gambler you will never be stable with him. She told me that when she came home the next day. It hurt me but made me think at the same time. Are they right? I mean I am the nicest guy in the world Ill give you the shirt off my back if you need it. But are they right here? I understand I need to grow up and I have a child to support here. But I dont wanna be compared to a piece of crap ya know? Also my gf also stated that she wanted to do a change of scenery. Aka move out of the state. We live in Jersey but she loves Florida and so do i. Is that the right thing to do? Kind of feels like that because there is NOTHING for us here and I want my daughter to grow up in a stable environment. If you guys can give me some advice I will appreciate anything. You can be harsh too. It doesnt matter.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2011): thank you for the advice.. i really needed that.. again thank you so much!
A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (10 July 2011):
 Ok. This is what I think.
You sound like an ok guy. Your girlfriend also. She sounds pretty sensible, and you must be ok if she has stuck by you. Of course her family are going to say you are a no-good gambler - because if you had to choose a father for your daughter's child, would you choose someone with a gambling addiction? No. Because that makes your daughter's life that bit more tricky and difficult. So: don't take that stuff personally. It is just normal, reflex reaction.
You can sort all of these things. These things are cancer or something that really you can't change. You can make this all good. As follows:
- Go to a doctor and talk about your gambling problem. Get some serious help with it. Not just GA.
- Let your girlfriend handle ALL money. You literally only get 3 dollars in your pocket for a bottle of water or a cup of coffee. Entrust her with this.
- Maybe move to Florida, yes. Why not? You can always come back if you don't like it. And it would be nice for your kid, with the sunshine and beaches, etc. A good life. Your job right now is, as you say, to build a stable little world fo your baby. Only you and your girlf can do that for her.
So, maybe Florida is good, because there you can have a fresh start, and nobody needs to know about your gambling past. If you have no cash or credit, and you are seeing someone to get help with what has caused this addiction, then hey ... you will be ok.
Go enjoy the sunshine. That's what I think! (from rainy England ...)
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A
female
reader, amenthyst3356 +, writes (10 July 2011):
I agree you need to grow up and give your daughter and gf a stable environment. I also have a big BUT do not move, you are just starting a job and you are extremely lucky your parents let you rent their condo. To get another place and pay rent each month will be extremely hard and to get another job before you move. I highly recommend staying close to have the support of your family. Let your gf move and when you can be stable and get another job, it might take a few months up to years, then move to Florida. I wish you all the luck, maybe you need the push to kick the gambling.
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