A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: This is like a Romeo and Juliet kinda situation....Ok, so basically me and my gf have been going out secretly for a year and a bit. It's a long distance thing, we live an hour away. This is all secret. However, recently her elder brother confiscated her phone and looked through our messages and pics. He then showed her mum, who then says the typical "you have let us down, brought shame to the family, don't talk to him again"Now we are of Asian origin, so her family has some guys arranged, but she doesn't want those, and if she finds the right guy i.e me.... Then she can marry him. But now everything has gone wrong. She still texts me, and try's to call, but it's not gonna be the same. She is like being watched, so she can't ring me at home, so our talk time goes less, and we really want each other, but at this moment in time, we aren't ready for marriage, need another year. So how can I remain in the picture? She still wants me and visa versa. What can she tell her family? They won't understand, they probably think she is a dirty girl, but she is getting to know me. Her family won't allow that, also they want her to get rid of me. What can she do? Is their a way to make sure she can not get caught out does she take the risk and defy her family? How can we make sure they don't find out. Also how can we convince the parents, cuz her family don't like bfs, but only marriage people. We ain't ready. It's all complex, plus I dont want her bro to hunt me down. Please help?
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female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (23 February 2012):
HI
you are not a child any more and neither is she. You live in England were you can leave home at 16! if you both are so much inlove with eachother, it's time to proove it to yourselfs. be a man and visit her family and stand up for your love, explain to her family you have only respect for there daughter and love. And that you BOTH want one more year getting to know about eachother ( non sexually) before you marry. Maybe take a close friend with you for support. I dont believe in arranged marriages myself, but I respectt all faiths. They will be firm and maybe a little over protective, but they love their daughter and want the best for her, SHOW THEM you are the best for her.
Mandy x
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