A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello all,I am a single guy and spent the last few years devoted to building my career. Sadly because of it my social life suffered. I am at an age now where I would like to go out and meet a nice girl. (I am really not interested in joining gyms, extra curricular activities etc to meet women that way, just really want to do it the good old fashioned way of just going out and meeting a nice girl)But I do not really have alot of friends I could go out with and I am rather shy. So was wondering if any of you had any recommendations about how I go about going up to girls when I am out. Any lines (dont mean that to sound cheesey!) or ice breakers or anything like that I could use to help me go up to girls. Bearing in mind I may be in a bar by myself and a girl may be with her friend/s and that I can tend to be a bit shy.Hope this doesnt sound sleezy but I know there are many men who are successful with girls - have that "charm", "gib of the gab" or whatever. So would love some helpful tips from those guys also. Not looking to be sleezy or anything. Just want to be able to go up to girls on my own, without being shy, strike up some sort of conversation and build up from there to something more hopefully. And maybe eventually I may strike lucky and find my miss right. So need a "plan of action" or attack as they may say lolAnd Thanks all
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female
reader, natasia +, writes (27 March 2008):
 OK. I think you need two elements to your strategy:
1) Exposure (and I don't mean flashing!!!!!): in order to meet someone, you need to put yourself in environments where that is likely to happen. I don't think you should rely on bumping into the love of your life in Sainsbury's. Going to bars is fine, but rememember you might look a bit odd if you're on your own. Have you thought about the internet? On dating sites you get an instant, un-embarrassing introduction, and you can approach all sorts of girls, and you can have conversations etc. without the worry of being face to face. I think that might be your best chance.
2) As for what you say ... well, again, I don't think it would be appropriate just to be going up to girls in any old public context. A bar or pub are about the only places you can (the reason people like gyms, etc, is that they can meet people under the guise of doing something else - they have a common interest, and get chatting that way, rather than specifically going up to someone in a bar, which is obviously a come-on, and therefore I'd say the hardest way to break the ice). I would consider myself relatively confident with the opposite sex, and have children, and have been married, but I would feel nervous about approaching someone in a bar!
Hmm. Nope, the more I think about it, the more the internet seems way the best idea. As for what lines you should use if you do come across girls in a bar, it's very very difficult to say. I think you'd find it hard not to seem weird, being on your own, going up to them, trying to strike up a conversation ... no, not good at all. Why not try speed dating, though? Google it. That way you get to meet lots of girls, all of whom are interested in dating someone, and you only have to talk to them for a timed 5 mins or less : )
Good luck!
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