A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:A couple of months ago I contacted a friend who lives in a state I also lived in some years ago. We had not talked in 4 years. I called him to say hello, and to share good news about a family member who is involved in the same career as my friend. We've remained in daily contact for the past couple of months. He shared with me early on that he is divorcing his wife - they've been back and forth for years, even before he knew me. He says this has nothing whatsoever to do with me. He has professed his love, and wants to marry me. He has begun assisting me financially, sight unseen, fully anticipating that we will see each other soon. I have concerns - he and his wife married in their teens, and it has been rocky all along according to him, and from what I can recall an old neighbor told me. I care, we get along great, I feel comfortable with his personality, but am concerned about talking to someone on the tail end of a marriage. He is a caring, considerate, protective man, who has raised his children, and wants to be happy, after a long, contentious marriage. He knows he will not be intimate with me while still legally married. His story is that they both cheated over the years. He says he did it to fill an emotional void. I'm just worried because I don't know if he did it for the thrill of it. Anybody have any experience, insight into this kind of situation?Thanks.
View related questions:
divorce Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (17 February 2009):
 :)) You're welcome!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2009): I am the original poster.Peter Pan, thank you for your reply. I appreciate a man's perspective.
...............................
A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (17 February 2009):
My caution flag raised reading this, but not so much in concerns about the possibility of you two getting married... more so about him concluding his marriage with the wife first. Wanting to get married BEFORE he's officially divorced seems odd to me... but, padding my reply, I have to say that all relationships move at their own individual speeds and none of them are the same.
Without any other references, I would have to suggest taking him at face value regarding the past cheating thing. It's possible that the marriage he had was so loveless that he indeed went outside of it for some attention. But, that doesn't necessarily mean that he would cheat on you. On this one, I'd say take the risk and follow your heart (and your gut feelings).
...............................
|
