A
female
age
30-35,
*unny911
writes:This could turn into a long story so i'll try to keep it short. I have been in a relationship for 4.5yrs in which we have lived toghether for 2yrs. It was perfect at the beginning. The last year however has been very rocky. We have not cheated and trust each other totally.It feels as if we have held on by the skin of our teeth for the last few months. There is no affection, a non excistant sex life and generally no fun. I try and make an effort but it's hard when nothing is returned. He NEVER compliments me and seems very short tempered with me all the time. If ever this gets a bit much for me he accuses me of being grumpy and unhappy in the relationship...i feel its so unfair. A recent night out highlighted this immensly. He pretty much ignored me whilst be very touchy towards another girl (she is married however). Not to the extent that it was too much but enough to hurt! I then happened to see him gesture towards pulling her wedding ring off...for what reason I have no idea?? Maybe I'm just over reacting and over thinking but this bothers me.I am making it sound as if he is the bad guy in all of this, i am not perfect myself. He is a fab bf but i can't seem to bring it out in him like i used to..We have had so many fab times together and I hate the thought of not being with him anymore. Are these just natural feelings to have with the prospect of breaking up! Sometimes i think this should be a no brainer to leave but my instint tells me to fight. Any thoughts? Thank you so much in advance xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2011): I'm with Ciar. This does no sound like the end of the honeymoon period; this looks more like the end of your relationship. It sounds like he already checked out and is waiting for you to break up. No affection, no sex, no effort on his end to make the relationship better, flirting with another woman in front of you - what more do you need? For him to cheat on you to act?
"He is a fab bf but i can't seem to bring it out in him like i used to"
Sorry, but he is not fabulous. He may have been in the past, but no longer is. If he was this great boyfriend, you wouldn't be here, nor would you contemplate dumping him. It is not up to you to bring out the positives in him; you don't have that kind of power. People choose to behave on how they want to behave based on their on free will. You never made him act a certain way in the past. In the past, he may have loved you, but his feelings and actions towards you have changed.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2011): Sounds like the honeymoon period is over.
Talk to him, open up, see if its all reached a natural end or its just pure familiarity and him taking you for granted.
Nobody like endings but sometimes they happen, better to split on good terms than end up resentful.So IF it is over best to deal sooner rather than later
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (10 September 2011):
 I think it's your heart, not your instinct, that's telling you to fight and I always advise following one's head instead.
Your boyfriend is moving farther away from you and making overtures to other women. They may not be blatant sexual advances, but as you say it's enough to hurt.
The expiry date on this relationship has passed. The longer you keep it, the more toxic it gets.
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