A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi everyone.. i'm a 23 years old guy facing a problem with my fiancee.i fell in love with my fiancee a long time ago when we were just kids, things evolved when we grew up and i proposed to her.the problem is that i feel that she's not the girl she used to be, i mean before we got engaged she used to be alive and active like always talking, joking and outgoing but now she's not, she used to be caring and always trying to hangout with me and do things for me (like laundry, cooking etc.) but now she doesn't.sometimes i think that i'm just asking for too much, and sometimes i think i'm not getting enough!we had a fight over these issues about a week ago and told her (in a moment of anger) that she's not the girl i used to know and she got really upset about it!she doesn't care about me like she used to do in the past, she never admit that she's wrong over anything wrong she does, i don't want to make her sound nasty to you guys cuz she's a really nice person and i'll love her no matter what..what should i do to get back the girl i fell in love with? please help..
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female
reader, Yummie Mammy  +, writes (12 June 2008):
At 23 you are only just starting to find your direction in life and it can be easy to think that you've found the right life path. However, every day we learn and change and who we are is constantly evolving. People do change over any amount of time and at any age.
Have you tried asking her where she thinks she'll be say in 10 years time? Or even if she thinks that you will be together forever (I know sounds a dumb question as you are engaged but I once had a friend and even the night before her wedding was still telling me that she didn't know how long it would last but hey there was always divorce - which is exactly what they are now!).
The real her is still there - she's just evolved slightly. Talk to her, stay clam and try to see what she wants out of life. And then see if that still fits your life plans. The most important thing to do is whats right for you.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008): People do change, circumstances change, however, I suggest the two of you have a good heart to heart conversation, what annoys her; what annoys you; what do you miss and want from her and what is her expectations from you.
Before the wedding there is often a lot of stress, but I think a good conversation NOW, can resolve a lot of misunderstandings in future; should you not be able to reslove these issues; place the wedding on hold; do not rush into anything you might later regret.
COMMUNICATION, is very important in any relationship, put it to the test!
Good luck!
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