A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've had relationship after relationship and most of them were at least 19 years older or so... i've also been with some my age. I currently am 20 and my intimate other is 28 years older. I know the whole being depeived of a father figure is the only reason i seek a older man to fill the neglected need for such a figure, but the thing is i've never been happier being with this person. but sometimes i feel wrong for loving him and sometimes question why. Does it mean i'm wrong or should i be happy that i found someone who could actually make me happy in a life that was soo ugly and painfully twisted.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2011): I'm the one who posted this question and i gotta say thanks for the feedback....you've gave me a whole lot to think about. Again, thank you.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (30 September 2011):
 It's not " wrong " but it may be too problematic to last. It may feel great in the here and now, but , what about later ... Do you want to have a future with this man ? Do you want to get married, have children- does he ? He'll be retired and you'll still be working for another 35 years or so, does this bother you , psychologically or financially ? When he is 70 you'll be 42, he may not be able to perform sexually and you'll be a horny early 40 firecracker, what will you do ? You may very possibly become a young widow- young enough to have many years of loneliness in front of you but not young enough to find another permanenet companion. Are you OK with that ?. When he'll be 80 you'll be only 52 , you still could, if you would ,be very active, practice sports, go out every night, travel, and he , even if he is a healthy octuagenarian, well , he'll have to take it easy. And so on and so forth.
I guess you have to ask yourself if he really makes you SO happy that you want to deal with all the complications.
( And just so that my fellow Aunt SoVery Confused does not hate me..... I think if the WOMAN is older for some reason it works much better, certainly not a 28 years difference, but 10 or so, it can work , I have a 48 y,o with a 58 y.o. wife and between the two, SHE is the spunky one ! )
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 September 2011):
 Age once a person is over 18 is not relevant if you are both happy.
it doesn't make you wrong.
you really can't control who you love only what you do about it.
HOWEVER, if you believe your need for older men is based on issues with your father, I strongly suggest getting into therapy and working on those issues.
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