A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice. I dont know how to feel about my boyfriend/relationship. Im usually not a indecisive person. Its still a very new relationship. We met on Halloween 2011, and made it official on November 10th 2011. Before I met my current bf, I had not dated anyone for a longg time (2 years; my previous relationship my ex cheated on me). I think I still hold onto those feelings of hate for him. I really never felt that kind of hurt and betryal. Ive tried so hard to let it go! Anyway, I feel like I cant deal with this new relationship! He already tells me that he loves me. I tell him all the time that we move to fast...and whatever. I care for him so much, I can see us together long term. But than theres moments where I just cant stand the sight of him and he hasnt done a thing to upset me! Ive told him about these crazy feelings and he said hes willing to help me through this! So my question is this normal to feel this way after a rough past relationship? And what should I do to improve my current relation?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you, I appreciate your honesty and advice!
A
female
reader, Lady Confused  +, writes (30 January 2012):
It sounds like you definitely have not gotten over the hurt from the past. You are now dealing with not just the hurt but trust issues as well. Your boyfriend deserves to be treated alot better. He definitely cannot pay for another mans mistakes - the relationship will eventually fail.
All the feelings you are still dealing with regarding your ex, the hate etc, is such a waste of time and you will soon realise that. Your ex has moved on and has most probably forgotten everything and here you are...still allowing yourself to feel hate for what he has done. Break free from those emotions!!
You are keeping yourself from living your life to the fullest and enjoying a man that wants to make you happy. Take it from me, I have experienced the same thing and when I eventually woke up, I was angry with myself for wasting 2 years of being angry and hurt, when I could have achieved so much more.
Today I am happy...and the ex no longer exists in my life.
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