A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for 9 months or so. We live together... and in a couple weeks we won't be, as I really want my own apartment, and living together was out of convenience. We're both cool with this.So... I don't want to have sex with him. At all. Like... sometimes his very touch irritates me. Partly I think it's cause he stresses me out every once in a while. I also think it has something to do with our age difference, and his inability to be romantic or intimate on levels other than touch (I'm 29, he's 18). He's incredibly mature for his age, even my friends put him at 24 based on conversation alone. Basically, he's not a typical teenager. But what he makes up for in intelligence and maturity, he lacks in experience and "romance".I'm with him ALL THE TIME. It's infuriating. I look forward to the moments when we are both in class and I have time around other people. I am unfortunately without a car right now, so he's my way of getting everywhere I need to go. Once I move out, I'll be relying on bus and bike.Anyway, this whole not wanting to have sex thing has happened before. It seems to be when the romance kind of dissipates. I don't need it every day, not even every week. Every month would be nice, but I don't even expect it that often. What I really look to as romance is intimacy, ability to talk to each other, meet on common ground...I feel like I'm starting to answer my own question.Thing is, I give up on things easily when they get this stressful and difficult. I guess I'm wondering if this is a big enough deal to walk away from, or if counseling will help, or if we really just are not MFEO.~sighs~ Reply to this Question
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female
reader, hailstorm  +, writes (14 October 2010):
I am kind of in the same situation as you. EXCEPT opposite lol I met my boyfriend when I was 18 and he was 25. I am now 20 and he is 27 we have been dating for about year and a half and we have lived together for a good portion of that time. (Other then when I am away at school). I seem to be having the same problem I am not interested in having sex with my boyfriend at all. He is always ready or in the mood, but I never am and always say to wait and then we never do. When we do have sex though I really enjoy it. The one thing in our relationship that I am uncomftorable with is that he has a two year old daughter with a crazy mother. I think the person that awnsered your question first it right,maybe your resenting your boyfriend for something he cant give you, which is leading to your lack of sex. I feel that may be the case with me that i resent my boyfriend for having a child (which is horrible)), and our situations are somewhat similar! is there something that maybe you dont realize really has made you resent him?
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