A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am 19 and my ex is 22. he never got his high school diploma or ged. he doesnt have a car still lives with his mom and has a hard time saving money. we have broken up off and on a lot. recently he went over his brothers and when he came back i found 2 klonapins in his bag he brought to keep his things in. i asked him about it and he said he doesnt know anything about them. so i called his brother to see if he put them in there and he said no. (his brother is known to do pills, but my ex isnt) so obviously i am being lied to. then afterwards he refused to talk to me about it and got mad becasue i went through his bag. he has not talked to me since. i was literally begging him to talk to me becasue i was very upset about it. this isnt like him to be so cruel. i just really would love some words of encouragment because every single day i feel like i want to die. i really thought he was the one.. and i am just a complete emotional wreck
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female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (22 June 2010):
 I think you can be with him one day, but he has to grow up first. Some people mature unbelievably slowly, especially for someone as lost and stuck, and undoubtedly unhappy as he is. He needs a little help, and with you going back to him again and again, he feels like he doesn't really need to change to be with you. Changing for himself may not be enough if he thinks lowly of himself, but changing for someone else might be. He has no one giving him that motivation though. He probably is lieing about the pills and doesn't want to talk to you until you stop asking him about them, but that's a normal side effect of shame. He doesn't want you to be disappointed in him and as long as you don't have proof they were his pills, you can't do anything about it.
Break up with him and stick with it. Tell him that you want to be with him, but it's not the right time. He has to get his life together and figure out who he really is. If you want ot wait for him, then tell him that. If not, then maybe you'll be helping him anyway. But if you keep going back to him, why does he really have to change anything?
Give it a few years and stay in touch with him in the meantime.
Some things are not meant to be and some things are.. just not right then.
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