A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A few questions.First of all, my boyfriend has never been able to bring me to orgasm, either through masturbation, oral sex, or penetration, although I frequently bring myself to orgasm by masturbating. It's not like he isn't trying or doesn't want to - recently, he's been trying to hide the fact that he's finished already because he's frustrated that he can't get me off. I've been frequenting these Q and A-type forums about sex for quite a while, since I've been curious, and I've done some research on the subject myself, so I feel like I know what's going on and how it can be fixed, and I've tried to gently prod him in the right direction, but it doesn't seem to be getting through. He just doesn't know what he's doing down there. Q) Do you have any tips as to how I can, ah, educate him more on this subject? We've always been very frank with each other about everything, but I don't want to sit him down and be all "everything you think you know about sex is wrong". I'd rather do something that's less of an affront to his dignity, you know?Q) What are your opinions on the etiquette here? I personally think it's a little unfair that I've yet to orgasm while he comes every time, and that foreplay is usually pretty minimal. I want to ask him to devote one night to just trying to get me off, but I feel selfish doing that...Q) Somewhat unrelated, but what do you all have to say about cleaning up afterwards? To be more specific, I hate, hate, hate the feeling of having sperm in me/leaking out, so afterwards, all I want to do is get to a shower as fast as possible, but I feel like kind of an ass doing that, since he wants to hold me afterwards. I like cuddling, but it's kind of ruined for me when I know my blankets are being slowly saturated with... juice. In case you're going to suggest it, showering together is not an option. We're college students in dorms with segregated showers.Thanks, and I look forward to seeing your responses.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (26 April 2009):
 One of your comments says it all. "He just doesn't know what he's doing down there." Not unusual - most young dudes are equally clueless. My suggestion, similar to that of friends "satindesire" and "Ginalolabridga," is to be a bit more insistent with him. Have him read all of my postings regarding cunnilingus in the Web site's archives. Just enter "Double M on cunnilingus." You might also have him read postings on related topics, such as clitoral complex, clitoris, foreplay and more. Best wishes. DoubleM
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