A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ok i need some advice. i been with my fiance for 5 years know and let me start by saying that he has a big family both from his mother and father.when we got together we both came off from previous relationships (me a boyfriend him with his babymother). when we got together his mom HATED me because she thought that i was going to use and leave because his babymother used him for everything he had he had his own apartment,car and a job which he had gotten from his cousin husband that owns a cleaning company, all this happened when he was living in florida, she got pregnant and took his child and all till now he dont know the where-abouts of his daughter so he came to NY and thats how we meet.so all through out our relationship his mother always told him she gonna leave you because when he came to NY he had trouble finding a job, so i fell in love with him that i was helping him out i was working and whatever he needed i gave it him because i knew he was struggling he still was looking for his own job but it never worked out for him, so since he loved me to and his whole world revolved around me she was always telling him im gonna hurt him (which i proved her wrong). finally after 4 years she seen what type of women i am and finally accepted me.now i started going to school to get my associates degree cause i wanted more than job i want a career and be a social worker,he decided to go to florida with his father and visit his grandmother who is sick and very elderly, when he went he asked his cousin if her husband (his old boss)would hire him again (my fiancee always told me he would love for us to live in florida because is a good life to live out there)to make a very long story short-he's been working for them since june,ever since he left we are ALWAYS AND I MEAN ALWAYS on the phone because thats the way we can communicate at this moment while we are seperated because we spoke about how we will work and get our apartment while i finish school out here in NY which will be in december 2012, so we will be ready, i went out to florida to visit him on my summer break in august and he showed me around and told me if i dont like it he will come back with me and start our life in NY but i LOVED IT out there, so he introduced me to his fathers side of the family that happen to live out there and i liked them but his boss and his wife who is his cousin had a different opinion about me, when i went out there his boss was asking me all these types of questions that had nothing to do with him, and his cousin she was like a little snotty and had a attitude i dont know y , so now that im back in NY and we are getting closer to move in they putting things in his head saying im gonna leave him im cheating out here and his boss(his cousin husband)be taking him to strip clubs even tho my fiancee dont want to go but he threatens him saying he will lose his job if he dont go and his cousin now everytime he goes to pick up his check at there house she tells him he cannot be on the phone with me while he there at there house and i cannot text him or anything so my questions is how will any girl handle this situation
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2012): Sounds like he needs to grow a pair, find a new job and tell them to get lost. He's not trying very hard if he's letting it happen. It almost sounds like its an excuse that or his boss really IS blackmailing him. It all sounds fishy, however. I think you need to dicuss him getting a new job, if he makes excuses, then that should scream redflag. good luck.
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