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male
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anonymous
writes: My ex-fiance and I are trying to get back together to make it work. After being back with her for a couple of days i'm starting to withdraw from her again because of one important issue i am having problems with. Her and her ex's. From the moment that i met her, i knew she had some ex's that she still kept in contact with, including the father of her daughter who uses every chance to express his undying love for her. I don't have a problem with her having male friends, but i do have a problem with her keeping in contact with guys that are clearly still trying to get with her. I know that that is what these guys are up too because she tells me everything they say and plays their voicemails to me and reads me their texts. She does this not because i want to know, but because she wants to be honest with me and not keep secrets. She has also told me that in the past, she has gotten back with her ex's.At the beginning of the year we separated and she moved back to her home town. A couple of weeks later i call her house to be surprised by a man picking up the phone. Come to find out it was one of her ex's. She got back with him. That hurt me and i eventually moved on. Well a couple of months later she let me know that she misses me and realized what she has with me. The grass was not greener on the other side for her and she wants to be back with me. After a month or two of talking about it, we decided to get back together and try it again. Well i'm visiting her now and i'm realizing the samething is going on. The ex that she just broke up with still calls/texts her and so do the other ones. She avoids their phone calls, because she claims she always does. But she talks to them when they call her job. She still tells me what they talk about and it's more of the same stuff. She still hasnt told them that we are engaged because she doesnt want to rub it in their face. So she is trying the avoiding them technique and hoping that they finally just leave her alone. But that aint happening.I feel like she is not handling the situation responsibly. Am i wrong to feel like this or am i justified on it. Do you think that she should cut her ties with ex's or is all right for things to go on the way they are?
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female
reader, claire_x100 +, writes (17 September 2006):
 Well, i dont think its right that she tells u all the time, and if shes soo in love with you you normally wont to tell the whole world. But the issue wit her daughters father you cant really stop that because he still has to se his daughter. Try explainin how you are feeling, how whys she cant turn around and say im engaged to some one. I know its hard knowing she has got back wit her ex's, but maybe its a security thing. Try suprising her with somethin take her mind off thoses ex's see how it goes if you really want it to work out. If not and theres no change then just trust ur instincts and your heart there will be some one out there much better for u. Good Luck.
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female
reader, playbunny206 +, writes (16 September 2006):
if there is a child involved she should know better than to behave responsibly. she may have a child with another man but that does not give her the right to go about treating you like dirt! what she is doing is playing with your emotions. Get out whilr you can and find someone who wil treat you with more respect goood luck!
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