A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Been seeing a lovely guy for one month. Friends for two months prior Before I went out with him I worked with him briefly and was attracted to him on and off. some days I really had a crush on him, other days I found him not very attractive at all. By most people’s opinions he is not a nice looking guy at all. Some of my friends are horrified that I could be attracted to him. Some days I am very attracted to him, other days I find I don’t want to look at him. The strange thing is, he turns me on sexually more than anyone I have ever been out with (this is the confusing bit) and I am so wet even just thinking about having sex with him Sometimes I am very jealous at the thoughts of him being attracted to others or vice versa. And I get very excited at the thoughts of seeing him and get butterflies when I think of him, although this has calmed down a lot lately] All of this is very confusing to me. I love his company, I find him very calming and can’t imagine not being with him But sometimes I am put off him. It’s stupid things like, he is a smoker I am not and he won’t brush his teeth for a whole day, not even in the mornings sometimes and he’ll try and kiss me and his breath will smell. Sometimes his basic hygiene is a bit lacking and he’ll not shower all day and night and then go to bed with me and climb on top and I feel a bit repulsed as I can smell he is not completely clean. But at the same time I love his eyes, I find them very sexy. I don’t find his body all that attractive as he is very skinny, but I still really enjoy sex with him. What is happening here? Anyone got any insight into this as it is confusing me immensely just exactly what I am feeling here.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (30 August 2012):
 Are you letting your friends attitude influence you maybe?
We like what we like. Obviously there are plenty of of things about him that attracts you and makes you happy to be with and around him. As for the hygiene.. ekk. Maybe start dragging him out in the shower before bedtime? Tell him you REALLY enjoy how he smells all freshly washed.
And if he tries to kiss you with a dirty mouth tell him, honey I'd love a snog, but it's really a turn of to kiss you when you taste like ashtray.
And like FA, I'm curios how you two get on part from the sex.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (30 August 2012):
 "Some of my friends are horrified that I could be attracted to him."
That's the only thing about this that can't be fixed.
How are the non physical areas of your relationship?
FA
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2012): sounds to me like you're attracted to his personality more than his looks.
that's perfectly normal, it's common knowledge that girls tend to be more attracted to a guy with a great personality than a guy who's attractive but shallow.
take some time to think about the two of you as a couple. do you share some common interests? do you agree on important stuff? do you see compatibility and a good relationship as being possible between you and him? how is/was your friendship - do you still enjoy doing things other than sex together?
as for the hygiene, this is the one area he probably should work on, and you might want to have a gentle, non-hostile talk with him about it. having good hygiene isn't just for you, it's for everyone he might work with or spend time with. just gently ask him if he'd mind trying a breath mint - there's some pretty good tasting ones out there! - and maybe you could even suggest a shower together, it can be amazingly arousing and might motivate him!
as for the smoking, you'll have to decide if it's a concession you're willing to make for everything else he gives you.
all in all, if you have a good relationship and a good connection going, don't dump him over superficial physical stuff. you're obviously attracted to him, focus on the good things he brings to your life, and just realize that nobody will ever be perfect, but a loving caring man who's not a looker is far better than a super model who's an asshole.
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