A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:im still finding this really upsetting so any help would be great.on tues morn at 8.15am i received a fonecall from a private number, i answered coz i thought it was about a job. when i answered i thought it was someone i knew (in fact i thought it was a guy im in love with). the guy oon i will call X and the guy i like i will call Y. i was speaking to X and he kept on saying baby, i cant stop thinking of u today. it might help to know Y moved away in april for work, and we are very close, sometimes i think we are more than friends, sometimes not, we both have asked each other out. when Y left in april, he said he was really going to miss me. when i got this call from X i thought it was Y becase the voice was the same. X kept on sayin i cant stop thinkin abt me today, then said he really missses me. i asked X why is he at home and not at work, and even said Y's name to X but X didnt say thats not my name. X kept on saying he misses me, so i told him i missed him too (remember i think it is Y), X then says that he really loves me, this shocks me, so i dont say anything, then he keeps on saying baby, i miss u loads and then said baby i love u so much, so i sed to him i love u too.X then asks me if lying down, i sed yes, he then asks me what im wearing, i said i aint telling you that, he then said if i wana know what his wearing, i said no way, he then said if i could squeeze my chest for him, then hung up the fone. X kept on calling me after that and i refused to answer the fone, then i picked up once and he said why am i not talking to him, i said i aint f***ing gonna talk to if you're gonna talk to me like this.after all this i needed to know if this really was Y. so i called him on his fone and it was switched off, so i texted him asking if he called me. but he didnt reply. so in the evening i called Y again, but he didnt answer so i texted him tellin him to call me bk, he called bk 5mins later. Y first said long time no speak, i said yeh, he told me that his moved back home now, i said ok, then i asked him if he called me this morning, he yeah i got your text, so i asked him again, he said no, i said Y you better not be lying to me, he said i aint, he asked why am i asking him this, i told him what happened...well all i told him was i got a call and thought it was his coz the voice was the same and we had a convo until the guy got dirty. he said it was definitly not him and that he would never do that, i believe him and apologised to him. thinking about he would never so that it just i had to know for sure. i said sorry a few times, we spoke again on weds and he asked if X called again and i said no, then when we spoke yesterday he asked me again, but then he said he couldn't believe that i thought it was him. i said sorry again and that it only coz the voice was the same. he said okbut i dont now how to show or tell that im really sorry for accussing i dont want this to affect us.the reason im so cut up about it, is coz last nov i got touched on the train on way home, some man put his hands in between my legs and then rubbed his dick on me. so on tues when i got that call i was very shaken and needed to be sure on who i can trust, but i have not told Y about the train incident.please some tell me what i can do, to make Y think im really sorry, which i amthanks xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2007): I think it was the guy you like., His phone was switched off when you called him after the incident. He keeps bringing it up, saying he can't believe you thought it were him. Thier voices were the same. He kept saying he misses you so much & he recently moved away. I think he was having a horney morning so he called you. It may be that he's moved away & now figures he has nothing to lose by seeing how far he can go with you now. I believe that if you would have went along with his phone sex, he would have kept going. And he called you back asking you why you won't talk to him..I really think it was the guy you like. All you can do is if they call back, call the operator to have her trace the number...even if it's private, they can trace it.
A
female
reader, stina  +, writes (17 August 2007):
 Hi there anonymous,
Regardless of what happened on the train, the dirty phone call you received would have weirded most people out. I know that I would have felt disgusted and angry...mostly because the person you talked with lead you to believe he was someone else. And that brings me to my point --
You were lied to. The guy on the phone tricked you into believing that you were speaking with the person who you liked. There wasn't any reason for you to think that it wasn't your guy because you don't really think "Oh, this is some creep who has too much time on his hands" when you usually answer the phone. But once he started perving out, you knew!
Look, you shouldn't feel bad for asking the guy you like if that was really him on the phone. You were looking out for yourself and he shouldn't have taken such offense if he's still talking about it. I admit that if someone asked me if I had done something like that, I would kind of be offended at first, but I'd get over it - and fast. In the scheme of things it really shouldn't matter.
You shouldn't have to apologize for being a victim in someone's weird plot to make someone feel uncomfortable. There was a misunderstanding and the guy you like should get over it. And you shouldn't be feeling guilty about *asking* a question to protect yourself.
In my opinion, the guy you like should be more concerned with your welbeing than the reputation he has with you. You obviously like him and trust him enough to question whether that was him or not. I think he's making this out to be a bigger deal for *himself* than it should be. I feel like he's being rather selfish honestly. He needs to drop it and let you move on from what happened.
So how do let him know that you're sorry? You apologize - which you already did. To me, it seems like he should be the one apologizing at this point.
Take care.
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