A
male
age
36-40,
*oloSW
writes:I am 28 years old and I think I might lose my first girlfriend. She was the first woman I've ever been with. I lost my virginity to her. But lately we haven't been getting along so well. I'm so worried what will happen if we break up. I may never find anyone else. It was so hard to get even this one relationship. And I wonder if I'm not enough for this woman, if I couldn't fulfill her needs adequately, how will I be able to with any woman? My prospects are not good, I'm 28 years old and I've only ever been in one relationship. Is that enough experience. My current gf has been my whole world for so long I can imagine not being with her.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 November 2012):
 Yes, OP, it's a big scary world out there to navigate alone for the first time as an adult... I'm betting you two have been together a while and that's a good thing...
I have children your age and I was your age so I can tell you that your fear, while totally understandable, is also totally unfounded.
It's never to late to find love.... or have love find you, but you need to be open to it. (and for a while after a break up you should not be open to it... it's good to be alone for a bit between partners) But once you heal, then you will open your heart and love will again find you.
A few stories for you:
My husband. I met him when he was 37... he had prior to me had ONE relationship.... it lasted 9 months. He is not my first husband.... and I am a bit older than he is... but it works for us...
My friends who just got married where he's 52 and it's his first marriage... he just never met the right woman till he met his wife.
And I saved the best for last
A man met a woman when he was 19. Three years later he married her. 48 years later she died tragically in his arms. Shortly after he was done mourning his wife, he met another woman. They have been together 17 years now. It's my dad.
My point is (note we graduated ages, 30s, 50s and 60s)
much like Sageoldguy... there is lots and lots of time ahead for you.... and you never know where or when you will meet someone special.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (16 November 2012):
 WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?????? You are a mere 25 years old, or so.... and have no less that 2/3 of your life ahead of you!!!!!
Good luck....
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (16 November 2012):
 I was in a similar situation to you. I was 25, had my first girlfriend and fell head over heels in love. A short while later she basically told me to get lost. She was my first everything.
When it happened, I felt like I wouldn't find love or companionship again. While there are no guarantees in life, I am happy to report that I did find love again.
I learned a lot about what I wanted in a relationship after that first one. I also realized I had a LOT to offer a woman and I wasn't a bad guy. If anything it gave me confidence and when I was emotionally ready, I was able to find someone else who was more stable and lasted a lot longer than my first girlfriend.
First girlfriends are hard to let go, especially at your age. We are more emotionally attached to them than your average teen-age love affair.
Whether it works out for you or not, I think you'll find that you'll have a lot to offer a woman. You have no children, you are probably financially secure, your career / education is probably settled, and you know what you want. Don't let your inner fears cheat you out of finding the love you TRULY deserve.
Take it from me, I've been there and I am happy to report there is life after love.
Eddie
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A
female
reader, shanaya  +, writes (16 November 2012):
 Dear friend,
Relationships are meant for two people coming together and being happy together. But in your case, this is not so. You surely can find someone else if you understand your worth first and value yourself. Life is not about giving others a power to control your happiness. First be happy with yourself. Trust me it's the best thing to let her go if she's happy doing so. Though it may take time on your part to move on with the things but that's the right thing to do. Learn to love yourself first and others will obviously love you.
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A
male
reader, DV1 +, writes (16 November 2012):
 It sounds like you've got to work on yourself. You can't make someone your world. You need to be happy with the person looking back in the mirror, and you can't expect anyone in this life to complete the pieces of what you're missing in yourself. Just play it cool. If you're about to lose her, sit down and actually communicate with her, and be a man. She doesn't want someone to fawn over her... You're going to end up getting strung along and feeding her ego, and giving her all of the power in the relationship. Take a step back and just be a man to her. If it's not good enough, there's someone else out there.
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A
female
reader, Arganique  +, writes (15 November 2012):
I`m sorry to hear that you`re going through a tough time in your relationship.
I wish you would include more details, like her age, how long you have been dating and your living arrangements. Are you living together or apart?
When you say "fulfill her needs adequately", what exactly are you referring to? Is this related to sexual, emotional, physical, or supportive needs?
If you feel your relationship is going through a tough patch, you need to address the problem. Find out where the roots of this issue are.
If it is an emotional disconnect, try to find something to reconnect yourself to her. Choose a moment when both of you are in a good mood and bring up your concerns. Sit her down, tell her first all the good things you feel about her, tell her you love her, then tell her what has been bothering you. Tell her that you can't help but worry about the future of your relationship because of the way things have been going between you two lately. Be honest and humble.
If it is a sexual/physical disconnect, you might want to find out why that is. When a relationship becomes stale (sex-wise), women often doubt themselves and begin to get self-conscious about their bodies. Perhaps you can show her a little more attention and tender loving care?
And finally, you need to stop doubting yourself. You sound like a man who loves his girlfriend very much. You sound faithful and sincere. You don't need experience to be in a relationship! You just have to have be patient, understanding, respectful, supportive and loving. A man does not have to be anything more than that!
I am currently dating a 28 year old male. I am also his first girlfriend. Sometimes it is visible in the way he handles or reacts to certain things :), but I also try to be patient, understanding, respectful, supportive and loving. That is key to a healthy relationship.
I hope you will have a positive self-esteem. It is most important to keep your head in a relationship. Stay confident! All the best to you :)
If you`re looking for some affirmative articles (relationship and personal growth), check out one of my favorite inspirational websites. I included a link below on `How to Make Your Partner Happy`.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-6811/5-Ways-to-Make-Your-Partner-Happy.html
Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2012): it doesn't matter how much experience you have or have had not had. don't worry if you're not enough-i'm sure she would have said. if she loves you you will be good enough for her and she will accept you as you are and the things you do for her. there are times you won't get along but the key is to work on it-i know not easy but if you love each other you can do it.it sounds like you really love her so i wouldn't give up.it might not be that you're not good enough-she may have things going on but doesn't want to burden you. you need to talk to her though about it and tell her how you feel and how you can't imagine being without her.
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