A
female
age
36-40,
*aeRae86
writes:Ok so I just kicked out my bf 2 months ago. I’m 20 and we’ve been together since I was 13. You can do the math. We definitely did not end it well. We were at each other’s throats. We always had an open relationship. Meaning that we lived together and he went out with other girls and I tried going out with other guys. But I could never actually be interested or like another guy while I with him.Towards the end of our relationship, I started to talk to a new guy. Someone I work with. I like him a lot. And we hung out together in group things. We’d eat lunch with each other almost everyday. Our boss even told me that this guy was planning to ask me out. Well, it didn’t happen the way I expected. He had called me one night last week and asked me if he could stay the night at my house because he is in the process of buying a house. Of course I said yes. So he came over with a bottle of tequila that was gone by end of the night. We kissed and fell asleep together. He then woke up kissing me in the morning and everything. Ever since then he hasn’t really been texting me or calling me as much. He would ignore my texts and claimed he was so stressed over this house buying thing. So this weekend I asked him what his deal was and why cant he just talk to me when I need to talk to him. I told him that I was sooooo nice to him and he can’t even just talk to me. He wouldn’t respond. Then Monday at work we had small talk, nothing like the usual. Then Monday night I apologized to him for being stupid via text message…still no response. He didn’t come to work yesterday cause he was moving yesterday then today he came in and I haven’t said a word to him all day. But at lunch time, we both ended up in the breakroom at the same time with like 10 other people. Still not talking. As soon as I went back to work, he started texting me asking me how everything is with me and blah blah. So why is he talking to me? Why now? Is it because he can actually see the sadness in my face? I don’t know, my last relationship messed me up and this doesn’t help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2007): I think men feel vulnerable after sex and they pull back to see if you will start hunting them down and trying to act like their girlfriend.....they are used to such behavior and he is testing you on the one hand, and on the other hand, he is a little freaked out.
Don't bother texting him or giving him sad looks, this won't make him interested in being with you. Don't act any different then you did before you slept together, continue to be his friend, stay busy with your life, do not bring up the relationship talk, don't ask him how he feels or where this is going...This will blow his mind, allow him to relax and drop his guard and trust you....and then it is anybody's guess how he will continue to pursue you....just relax and enjoy the ride, and don't cut yourself off from life or dating other nice guys until and if he asks you for that relationship commitment.
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