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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend says I don't love him anymore. I have a full time job which has different hours. He has his own business from home, so he's more at home than me. Most of the time I'm exhausted from work and our sex life is being affected. Sometimes it's 3 times a week, sometimes skipping 4 days and etc. He used to complain that I don't turn him on. so I started to look better; not a quick change but a progressing one. It was his birthday recently so I thought I will wear something nice and he loved it. The next day he wanted sex again and I said it is fine; then he said I have to make myself up again, but I said no as iI was working 5am the next morning and thought were just gonna have a quick one. We argued, him saying I don't love him anymore, but I do. I'm just so tired always. What do I do?
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (23 May 2006):
 Your boyfriend is being selfish, and relationships should be equal so you probably need to address that by talking to him. You should remember that when he says you don't turn him on anymore, what he really means is that he is scared you don't fancy him anymore or he doesn't turn YOU on anymore. People are sometimes nasty because they are feeling bad or insecure about themselves.
You say you are tired from your job, and shift work can sometimes affect people in all sorts of ways. However, if you are always tired then perhaps you should get a check-up from your doctor as there are all sorts of physical reasons for fatigue such as problems with your endocrine/ gland/ metabolic system.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2006): Aside from what Amcfoxy had suggested, you should tell him that he is being a very selfish, immature, little man who doesn't care at all about you. There is no point in repeating that you do indeed love him. You show that to him through action already. What has he done? Obviously you're not asking for a break-up. Just to vent and have some supportive comments/questions. However, I feel frustrated for you. My gosh!
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female
reader, amcfoxy +, writes (22 May 2006):
 wow does he know how lucky he is.He does know you love him or why would you be with him,you dont mention kids so he better wise up!!!! its good you still have confidence after what he said,cheeky man!! anyhow tell him you do love him and just by not dressing up isnt the end of the world.Why dont you book a weekend away in a cottage somewhere that would be fun,or just start drinking coffee.
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