A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Advice please. My wife dated this guy in 2003 - 2004. We started dating in 2004 and got married in 2005.Early in 2006, this guy called my in-laws to get our phone number. They were smart enough not to give it out, but to get his number and pass the message along to us. I told my wife to go ahead and call him, he wanted to meet for drinks/dinner to catch up and to give her something. My wife was hesitant and I said this wasn't a good idea, too much like a date or something, I told her to suggest to him that they could meet for lunch. Well they did, and after lunch he gave her a 'present'. It was an autographed copy of a [name removed] magazine [with pictures of nude men]. My wife told him that this was a very strange thing to give a married woman, he told her to look at the centerfold. She did, and it was him.Long story short, she brought the magazine home and we looked at it, then I put it in a plastic ziploc bag and put it in my filing cabinet with my saved comic books. I thought maybe someday it would be worth something, or when we are older we might look at it for laughs or something. I never though about it until yesterday. I was looking under our bed for shoes, they weren't there so I looked under my wife's side of the bed, and guess what was there. This [name removed] magazine was out of the bad and under her side of the bed. I don't want to assume the worst that she was using it as some sort of visual stimulation aid, but I can't help think that. Why else would it be out and under the bed?Should I? a.) put it back in the bag and back in the filing cabinet and see if it 'moves' again? b.) confront her about why it was out and make a point of destroying it? or, c.) Just throw the stupid thing out and never mention it again?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2011): A male poster wrote:"If she is using the magazine as a stimulation,maybe she isn't completely satisfied sexually in the relationship. "I guess that blows the male defense... that porn use has nothing to do with their sexual satisfaction in the relationship so the woman should not be upset by it... right out of the water!!!
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (20 July 2011):
 What a silly gift to give someone.
I think this magazine has caused enough problems for you. I suggest showing it to your wife and saying you were cleaning up the room and found it under her bed. Offhandedly remark that you feel you should just throw it away -- let's face it isn't going to be worth anything.
Her reaction will tell you where she is at with it. I wouldn't be too concerned about it either way though. While she may fantasize about her past, she is with you and for all intents and purposes has been faithful to you.
Don't let a minor issue become a major sticking point.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, classicclown  +, writes (20 July 2011):
Hi there. Personally,I think you should confront her about it. In my relationship addressing the problem has always resolved it. If she is using the magazine as a stimulation,maybe she isn't completely satisfied sexually in the relationship. you will know how to address the problem but I hope this helps. Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (20 July 2011):
 This guy is no good and your wife should've threw out the magazine. Why she didn't would be a very nice thing to know. I think you should throw out the magazine and ask her why she decided to look at it. It's just a magazine, but at the same time she knows what's in there and seems to like it since it wasn't in the right place. Talk to her calmly and ask her why she decided to look at it again and then tell her you would like to dispose of it. I wouldn't worry after that unless she refuses to dispose of it when she knows what's in it.
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