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female
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*anielsgirl
writes: At 15 I started dating a 23 year old man. At 17 I had his son. At 18 we broke up. At 19 I met and then married my now-estranged husband and had 3 kids. At 24, after 5 long years in an extremely abusive marriage, his brother, also my best friend of 9 years, saved me. We started a relationship and fell in love. Then he was sent to prison for 18 months for breaking probation. His crime was working out of town to support me and 4 kids. My soon-to-be-ex husband keeps harrassing me, and then tonight I found out my oldest child's father is in ICU and they don't know if he will make it. I am an emotional wreck and I don't know what to do. If my love were here it would be so much easier but I still have 10 months. Help please.
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female
reader, Jadzia1127  +, writes (5 March 2006):
 My heart goes out to you, it is exhausting just to read your letter. We all go through times that seem very dark but there is light at the end of the tunnel.
First off you need to take care of yourself and those kids. Find a friend or family member that can help you out on hard days.
Set aside a day every week to do something with your kids not including TV, go to the library, have a picnic, play a boardgame together, read a book together, a family bike ride, build a fort. You need the break as much as the kids do, just let the worries and troubles collect dust that day.
As for your ex-husband you can get a restraining warrant to get him to back off. Don't know how to do it or want other options, call
National Domestic Violence Hotline 1(800) 799-7233. They know how to handle abusive, harrasing ex-husbands. They can help you get legal help and even a support group that has babysitting.
Your oldest is old enough to understand that thier biological father might die. Oldest children have a tendency to try to act tough, and strong but as a parent you have to remember they are just kids. So keep a clear head and be the parent they need.
Call their school and let the school know the circumstances so the school counselor can focus on the needs your child away from the stress. Keep in contact with the counselor so you can know what is going on and how to help in that situation at home.
And if your religious praying always helps quiet a troubled soul.
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