A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 21 year old female, I have style, class, intelligence and am always warm to others. But I am so alone my heart literally hurts. I moved around allot in my high school years and ended up being home schooled. I have no real friends outside of work, and up to last October I had never even been kissed. Being 21 and still a virgin I sometimes just want to "scratch the itch" and yes I could JUST sleep with somebody if I wanted to but I want more then that. At 21 I'm already thinking I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life, turning into a old spinster with mounds of cats. I look at myself and I'm not sheepishly shy or ugly yet I get nowhere. I have so much to offer, yet I receive so little. I've been on dates and have had men interested in me but there's never been a connection, nothing that I wanted to pursue. Will I ever find a love?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2009): ok so this is the first time to reply to someones ? so here goes.Dont rush love it will come to you.I know it sucks being alone and that you hear there is someone for everyone and blah blah.But if you rush it you will luck out.I rushed love and was so not happy.I found myself saying is this realy it this is what you wait your whole life to find.But then I met the man of my dreams.Granted I was married and he was dating somone.But I didnt rush it we was best friends and it all worked out in the end.I left my ex and all be damned if that same week him and the girl he was with broke up as well.Now we are married and oh so happy.So I guess I could have wraped all this up by saying dont give up and dont give in.You will find yours when its your time just be you.
A
female
reader, Kalyov +, writes (13 June 2009):
 I know how you feel. I too am 21 and have only ever had one boyfriend, my first kiss was in December...he turned out to be a jerk, we broke up after 28days.
I see all my friends with their boyfriends and get very lonely, it doesn't make since to me...sure I might not be the prettiest girl out there but I am very nice and smart...sure I can be shy but I normally warm up pretty fast, sure Im not really into parties or anything but I still get out there...
I just dont understand how one of my friends who has no compassion what so ever and very cold hearted, and wont let a guy ever call her 'hun' or 'baby' have 3 boyfriends in the past year to my 1 in my whole life?
I too sometimes worry about being alone forever...and yes if so I would prob be a cat lady because I like cats...and I dont want that....I want to meet someone and have a family some day.
I just got back from my friends birthday party and felt really depressed because all my friends are in relationships and I am the only one left single.
So I know how you feel.
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A
female
reader, hearthelper  +, writes (13 June 2009):
I've had this problem my whole life and still go to counselling every week to help get perspective on myself and my terrible dating situations. Honey, I have gone through hell and back dating all sorts of guys who at first seemed great on the outside but all eventually hurt me and left me; i've even attempted suicide, so I've learned a few lessons from it.
The old adage is true: you can only attract someone who loves you when you love yourself. You know how you treat other people, but what are the things you say in your head to yourself? Negative, self-deprecating thoughts? Then you're really not treating yourself with love and respect. Instead of finding a man, you need to know and like yourself inside and out. I've taken months of breaks from dating to build my confidence up again, and yes, it takes effort. You must change your beliefs about yourself that aren't serving you, in all the areas of your life that aren't working. Everybody is worthy and deserving of complete abundance in every aspect of their life.
I am a huge learner and believer of the science of the Law of Attraction, and please, buy and study the books that I'm about to suggest, and you'll be well on your way to manifesting a meaningful relationship:
1) The Secret: it's a great intro into the LOA but you need more info. WATCH THE AMAZING DVD!!!
2) The Answer: (John Assaraf) it explains in perfect detail everything you need to do from beginning to end to change your belief system and do neurological reprogramming. It also explains the mechanics of the brain and the physics of LOA. Spiritual and practical; this guy is a multimillionaire who came from nothing and knows what he's talking about.
3) The Law of Attraction for Love: The secret of finding your Soul Mate: Debbie Frank
4) You Lost Him at Hello: Jess McCann. This is by far the best dating book I have ever found.It talks about dating like a salesperson, and it's awesome!
Once you have a better idea of exactly what beliefs are holding you back, get to work changing them using the things you've learned in the book, using affirmations, goals, visualizations, dream boards, action plans, etc. Peoples lives have been changed in as little as less than a month when they put in the effort.
and please, don't have sex with someone who will leave you. They can sense when you're desperate. you want to be with someone who is worth it, or you're going to live with even more disrespect of your own self worth.
please let me know what you think of my post and if you want more book titles or advice.
Remember: Once you shine your light to the Universe, the Universe will shine its light back on you. Discover your inner light and let it glow. Because you can change yourself, you can change your beliefs, and you can change your life.
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