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So it that it? He told me he was not looking for a relationship. I thought we had more going on than that.

Tagged as: Big Questions, Friends with Benefits, Sex, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 April 2013) 3 Answers - (Newest, 25 April 2013)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hello everyone

I always love to read this website love all the advice

now I need some.

I'm 24 separated and have 2 kids.now I met this guy in the club. He's 21 and military..

He asked my number and gave it to hi.

we started texting then he was so funny and nice.

He is young then after that we met for lunch

Once we kept texting but then everything changed and he barely replies now to my texts.

he still cool to me, felt like he just being polite replying my txt

Sometime last week were txting and he ask me if I can pick him up to the club

so I'm so crazy seeing him.

I pick him up and drop him to his dorm.then we had sex tht night

then after we txting but just normal say hi

the night after we met n the club he just act normal say hi each other dance a little while and see jim wth his friends and girl friends then after tht he txt me tht he waited outside ask me if I have my car coz his hungry and drove him to eat and drop him to his dorm again wth his friend.

after tht just barely txt again then yesterday he not even reply my txt

I always txt him just say hey .or hi

I dont even know what to txt him but I really like him

.but just dnt know wht to do since he told me already his not looking for a relatioship ...pls help dnt know wht to do should just txt him? And just being cool and friendly?

View related questions: military, text

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A female reader, mayhem321 United Kingdom +, writes (25 April 2013):

mayhem321 agony auntThe first major red flag that I saw was you met him in a nightclub. It's really really rare that relationship happen after meeting someone in a night club. Most men, not all men but I think it's safe to say most go to night clubs looking for hook ups.

If I was you I'd cut your losses and ditch this guy, unless you want a casual relationship, which trust me you don't want, there very dangerous.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (25 April 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony auntyou like him. that's nice

he's using you.

for sex

for transportation

stop texting him. He told you he's not looking for a relationship... you have two kids and an ex you have a lot of baggage for an adult much less a 21 yr old soilder.

next time he texts you I bet it's to ask for a ride or for sex. just say no.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2013):

Um, where do I begin here? Please please please re-evaluate some of the choices you are making.

You are 24 and separated (not divorced, I assume) and have 2 kids? I can only speculate that your kids are no more than kindergarden age, I hope.

In my opinion, you might consider the following: rather than going to clubs, meeting strange men and having sex with them before you know anything about them, focus you energy on your children and being the best mom you can possibly be.

Also, if you are not divorced yet, maybe figure out what you are going to do regarding your marriage, and how the parenting plans are going to look like. You know, the father gets the kids on these days, you get them on those days, the whole thing.

These are HUGE life issues, and I'm sorry that you have to deal with them at only 24 but that is the situation you have in front of you.

That's my opinion, hope it helps.

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