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male
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*town
writes: How and When to ask someone to be your GIRLfriend?I went out with this girl on short dates(dinners, small chats). I still don't know her well but I have this feeling that I really LIKE LIKE her. Same feeling as the feeling that you miss your love ones when you don't get to see them for long period of time. I only see her once every few months so I really miss her. My biggest question now is when would be a proper time to ask her to be my girlfriend and how? I never intended to be her guyfriend. Should I just be straightforward and tell her my truth feeling? and how long before I should proposed to be her boyfriend? Should I know her better? or should I proposed first and get to know her better afterwards? I know I'll get hurt if she says no or she start seeing someone else. I don't want to be the snooze you lose guy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2011): Just don't fear her and follow ur heart always.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2009): Hey,I'm actually having this same exact problem, however, I do have a few tips to help you in your quest to get this girl. I always have liked girls from out of school, my tennis career, and in school, but one day, I found a girl that I truly love. She said she wasn't ready for such a comittment yet, so I moved on. The key is not to let just one word affect you terribly. You can feel bad for an hour or too, but if she doesn't like you or is not ready, no worries, and why continue to like her? On another note, the key to asking a girl to be your girlfriend, is having confidence in what your getting yourself into and also have no doubts. There are two paths you can take. One, go straight up to her and say, "hey, do you wanna start being boy friend/girl friend? I really like you, okay with you?" Or you could take the second path, go up to her when you have the chance, stay cool, but not too cool, tease her with kindness, and be yourself. Get to know her before you jump into a big time decision/relationship. Good luck, and hope you get the gal.Anonymous
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): Hey man I have the same problem... and trust me the words that I'm going to use to ask her is in my mind and I rehearse them all the time and when it comes time for me to ask her I get a little reluctant... that kind of has a lot to do with the fact that I asked her before and it didn't go to well but there was a good reason. Anyway if you truely care for her and want to pursue a relationship go for it. Start off by getting to know her and her likes and ask to take her out or something and if she truely likes you all of the signs will be there. It's best to ask her before someone else comes along, and you don't want to go throughout your life wondering what if... what if I had asked her.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): i am 12 (young love they may say) but i love some one so much, i asked her if she liked me im w8ing for an answer and well, i want to ask her out if it is yes.
i have the same problem good luk with your love life with her if she says yes
heres my advice;you:hey i like you alot....
her:huh?
you:to put it stright i love you you wanna be my girlfriend?
i no it is strieght forward but any 1 else wanna put in more advice??
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2008): There is never a proper time you just hang in until she is less likely to say NO !
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2005): It's great that you've found a gal friend with whom you identify so closely, and it's perfectly natural to love those special friends in our lives. Things can begin to get complicated once that deep connection starts turning into something more — like sexual desire.
You offer yourself two seemingly opposed options in your question: to leave things as they are and keep her as a friend, or to investigate whether she may be interested in something more. There's no guarantee in life — you could leave things as they are and never mention your attraction to her and still, your friendship could still end some day, or you could talk about your desire for something more from her and still maintain your friendship if that doesn't work out. It all depends on your individual personalities and how you handle touchy issues.
Asking her if she wants to be your girlfriend does mean risk, because rejection is always possible. Everyone has trouble establishing love relationships from time to time and that not even the most successful people are successful every time. However, nobody is successful unless they try. Or........
You could preserve your relationship as it exists now by just ignoring your attraction toward her, not addressing your feelings could, over time, create a tension in your friendship, as well. Healthy, strong relationships are built on trust and communication, even communicating about &through sometimes difficult topics. If you can honestly give up your attraction and be happy with the strong platonic friendship you already have with your her, then you could decide to keep your feelings to yourself. If they won't go away or they may lead to unhappiness, however, then you owe it to yourself and to your friendship to be open and honest about them. That frank communication, though, has to happen with the understanding that the feelings may very well not be reciprocated, and that there may be a period of awkwardness in your relationship as your friend deals with this information himself. Just some pointers for you to think about...nobody can make this decision for you. Give it some thought and I am sure you will do the best thing.
Take care...
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male
reader, aloneisallxweare +, writes (18 July 2005):
well now, i have been in this perdicament...i was straight foward about it too her.. It took some time for her to make her decision. but try to be alone and try not to come on to her as nervouse, girls can spot that a mile away...Do it towards the end of the date, so if you do get shot down, the night wouldnt have been ruined...try it in a romantic setting, not like the movies, or in at a table eating, you want to do this as you say goodnight so it makes it more romantic, and if she sees that your romantic she might say yes...and if she says yes dont go in for the kiss right away, a peck on the cheek and a hug....she might think your too straight foward.
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female
reader, ALoverofAngels +, writes (18 July 2005):
If you really don't see her all that much or know her all that well, I would say that you're probably suffering from an infatuation- a crush. However, all great loves start as infatuations, so I suggest you tell her. Of course it'll hurt if she says no; that's all part of the rhythm. But if you never ask, she can never say yes. It's better to tell her that you like her and ask her to be your girlfriend. If she says no, she'll be the one missing out on a great guy. If she says no or starts seeing someone else, it just means there's a better woman out there waiting for you.
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reader, Bat_hell +, writes (17 July 2005):
You only live once, you MUST take the opportunity and ask her straight. Explain to her, that from your dates you have developed feelings for her, and think she is a fantastic girl. Make her feel good, but let her know you want more than just "friends". Give her time to think if needed and hopefully she will feel the same for you. You can wait till you get to know her better first, maybe meet her more frequently, let her know your getting more interested before saying this, but if your not fast your last, good luck mate
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