| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: My partner and I are both 31 and have a 3 year old daughter, I really need advice at teh moment. I first got suspicious about my girlfriend about two weeks ago. Then I did something stupid. I looked at her phone and saw a bunch of messages to and from a guy she had met on a train journey a couple of weeks earlier. Then I did something even more stupid - I confronted her about it. He lives at the other end of the country and nothing has happened except a conversation on the train, a couple of e-mails and some texts. But some of the messages contained phrases like "your sexy (from him) and "I can't stop thinking about you" (from her).My partner is not the sort of person who usually flirts, she's never been unfaithful and I have always trusted her. But now she want's us to split.I believe that the reason I got suspisious and the reason she acted out of character are one and the same. I've been stressed during this year about work issues - My company was taken over a few months ago and I was told I would be made redundant. I found a job in the new company but it's over 2 hours to commute there and as I felt pressured into taking it, I'm not happy. Because of this I've not put any effort into our relationship, and I think that's why she did what she did, and why I got suspicious.Now we're in a mess. I forgive my partner, I've seen my doctor about the stress, she agrees and has signed me off. My partner thinks that there is some deeper reason - that she doesn't love me anymore and we have drifted apart.We've tried to resolve this over the last few days but it gets to the point where one of us has to back down as there seems to be no middle ground.What should I do?
View related questions:
flirt, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, pops +, writes (19 September 2005):
YO get out of a relationship what you put in. I suspect that you haven't been putting in much since before your child was born. The clue is that she isn't the " flirting "kind. All people flirt, or should. Its what keeps the passion alive in a marriage, or any other kind of relationship. If you don't flirt with your wife every day, shame on you. And, shame on her if she stops flirting with you. Of course she is smitten by this guy. She meets him on the train, and she has had more attention paid to her in two weeks, than she has seen from you in how long? At 31, she has decided that life is too short to live in a dead, uncaring relationship, and that her child would be better growing up in a healthy relationship where the two adults not only love each other, but show it daily. You may have lost this woman, and its your own fault. Talk to her. Discuss what I have indicated, and see how much I am right about this. Then be prepared to apologize and change your entire life. If you are not happy in this new job, look for another. There is no job good enough to tolerate it helping to destroy your family.
|
