A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Right here is a tricky situation, Me and my boyfriend split up due to me resenting him for something that he did at the start of our relationship. It led to me being resentful. I dumped him. Then this girl from work came on the scene, he had talked about her in our relationship, he was close to her. Well it turns out he asked her out in october, 2 months after we split up. He told me he had moved on, which seemed quite quick. I only found out he asked her out tonight though, she turned him down. He stopped wanting me back and I realise now there was this other girl that had come on the scene she was the one he wanted.This girl now has someone else who she started seeing in December, well basically this guy has discovered he still has some kind of feelings for me, am I sloppy seconds or am I truly the one for him, it seemed like he was just trying to move on because I still resented him, I sent him a message saying I think I knew what went on because it was based on a misunderstanding in his mind (the resentment) and he wanted me to elaborate.
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female
reader, R1 +, writes (28 January 2013):
 Sounds like he was trying to move on (you said 2 months after you split, which seems reasonable as you dumped him). It's hard to hear but you couldn't have expected him to hang around for you. Now you've both decided to get back together, I suppose you need to take it slow and see if it really is going to work out between the two of you. Whether he fancied the other girl more, who knows, she turned him down that's what is important. I think you need to try and move on from that incident or you will become even more resentful than you already are.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2013): You want to date him again I take it but your worried he only asked you out as the girl from work did not want him and is now unavailable.?
You still want him and have not moved on,you know what he has been doing with his life even though you dumped him last year ,which is not healthy
First,definately don't have sex with him,second don't get back with him if you have these doubts as they will grow.
Or just take a leap of faith if he wants you back to see what happens,but take it very very slow.
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A
male
reader, CMMP  +, writes (28 January 2013):
Your question is too confusing to give you specific advice, but I can tell you a few things.
First of all, "sloppy seconds" in the US means having sex with someone after they had sex with someone else, it may be different in the UK but it sounds like you're really talking about a "rebound" as opposed to sloppy seconds.
Second, "am I truly the one for him?" Who knows? Who cares? There is no reason for you to need that question to be answered and at this point it's impossible for anyone to really answer. Just do what feels right. If you want to see him, then do so, but take things slow so you have a chance to find out for yourself how he feels about you, then let your instinct guide you as to whether he really likes you or is just on the rebound. If you don't feel comfortable with the whole situation then just move on.
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