A
female
age
30-35,
*onfussed?????
writes:I've been at my job for a while and just over a month ago a new manager started. From the first time we meet i was attracted to him, there was a bit of subtle flirting for a week then we went out one night after work ended up getting drunk and sleeping together. we did this a few times after but the people we work with started to notice so we spoke about it and he didnt want everyone knowing because he's my boss.We've slept together once since then and all of a sudden he's stopped showing interest. tonight after work he was flirting and kissing another woman we're friends with right infront of me and i think we stayed.I don't know how to deal with this because i quite like him. any advice would be great!Thanks
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female
reader, favorsgirl  +, writes (6 February 2009):
I blame this entire situation on you. Sometimes people test you to see if you will pass or fail and its clear that you failed horribly. If your boss ever had any type of feelings for you, they were lost when you agreed to go out with him b/c he probably thought that you were like everyone else and treated you as such. Your boss seems like the type of guy that uses his authority to lure women into bed. Sometimes when a person has a higher position than you, they feel like they can use their position to get what they want b/c they know that people are attracted to power and authority. As a professional, you should have let him know from the beginning that you wanted to have a professional relationship with him and that's it. When you engage in an office romance or a romance with a boss, you have to be very carful b/c the decisions that you make can harm your chances of moving up within the company...it can also determine your future with the company. People talk. What if this office gossip gets into the ears of the wrong person? You could potentially lose your job b/c your "boss" could make up a reason to fire you in order to save his job (if HR decided to take action) or he could fire you to prevent a "bitter girl" situation. How do you think your co worker view you? You better belive that they have lost some respect for you as a professional and they might even assume that you had sex with the "boss" to get ahead within the company even if those were not your intentions. Your boss seems like he is a pro at luring women into his sheets and he proved this by getting another women to fall for his trap. I believe that you should have 2 different lives; a professional life and a personal life and the 2 should never mix b/c when they mix....DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA. So...I blame you. Yes he is wrong for how he is treating you, but you shouldve and couldve prevented all of this by simply turning down his date. From this day forward, you should go to your job and work and not ask him anything about his new relationship b/c if he cared; he wouldn't have been kissing on someone else. I hope this helped.
A
female
reader, amyrechel +, writes (6 February 2009):
First off, never sleep with the boss, it gets so uncomfortable after that. Ask him up front about what he wants. Don't beat around the bush.. If he's kissing another woman when he knows your around, there's two different things that can be going on,Number 1- he's trying to make you jealous and having to show someone he's important. Or Number 2- he doesn't care about your feelings and he was just using you. Just be upfront with your situation with him, don't ignore your feelings...
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A
male
reader, MyDestiny +, writes (6 February 2009):
 communacation is key..
talk to him..ask him on what level
you two are together..and tell him that just dont understand that one night hes in the sack when you and a few days later he kissing some other guy
demmand an expination from him
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