A
female
age
30-35,
*ee_neko
writes:My boyfriend (21) and I (19) have been dating for six months. He's in the army and in two and a half years he'll probably get shipped elsewhere, which is problematic for where I live, but not an immediate issue. He signed on for this station again because he wanted to continue dating me, but lately he's been really pressuring me about marriage. As in, sometime this winter or next spring. Now I love him as much as someone can after six months of dating. But I don't want to marry him just yet because lately we've been fighting a lot, and frankly, it seems like a stupid thing to do after a mere six months of dating. He's been married once already and divorced sometime in the same year I believe. He married HER after only two months of knowing her. I'm not like this and had always anticipated a much longer dating process before such a heavy decision. And since I don't like to think of divorce as an option, it's a pretty huge life decision.What should I tell him? I've tried explaining this to him, but then he goes off on how we can plan for an April wedding or something. I realize if we do get married we'd have to get a place or w/e but why do I have to decide six months into dating?
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female
reader, Azula  +, writes (9 July 2009):
 Let me start with this, HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF.Yes 6 months is longer than 2 months but is the 4 month difference is a great change? No. He is in the army and that's a problem and a big question you need to consider right from the start.Living with a husband is no ordinary compared with a man who works near of the house. He moves into places a lot and met new people a lot. and as they say absence makes the heart grow fonder a lot in his case.And also try to think he had consider divorce once, you don't know if it was easy for him or not. That can give you a doubt.What can I recommend is that put him to the test.Start with simple things like removing the pressure of marrying in your relationship. Clear the commitment you can offer and trust. Then make him wait.If he gave up too early you should try considering dating someone else.All of your options above will differ in this question:Do you love him that much,in that 6 months, and ready to take one of the biggest risk you might ever take?
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