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female
,
anonymous
writes: When I'm first in a relationship I find many things that i have in common with the person and get really involved and when they say I love you I say it back (i usully feel i do) but after awhile i quit feeling that way and then i get annoyed or suffocated and begin making excuses about why i can't talk/see them. I know that by doing this I hurt alot of guys and I want to stop acting that way. How do I know if it's really love or just excitement from a new relationship? How do i tell a guy that even though i may have told them i loved them, that i may have been wrong about my feelings? What should i tell the guy(s) that are "in Love" with me now...(i think there are...6). How do i keep them from getting hurt? Please Help!!
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female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (11 August 2006):
 Sorry but how do you know that 6 guys are in love with you ? Are you jumping from one guy to the next within days!? Are they just saying they love you so you will have sex with them ? Im not sure to what extent you are saying that they are in love with you ? Seems like you are getting through the men a bit and quite quickly! You need to know what you want yourself before you go barging in stringing guys along... If they say I love you, and your not sure hang back! Whats the worst that can happen ? What already is happening I would imagine! Dont just say it because they do, take time to sit back and reflect and see if you do like them... i doubt they are in love with you, you do sound quite young so im guessing its all just part of growing up and in time you will see what love means and what guys you actually do properly click with. In the meantime perhaps me on your own for a while, as you seem to be going headlong into things that you really are not sure about.
Take care x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2006): Why would you think it is perfectly acceptable to string along six guys? That just isn't right.
I agree that Love is more then saying words; too many people cast them about but do so little to prove that they love in the verb sense.
What you are doing is not love.
Love is also far from sufforcating-that kind of feeling is self projected onto these guys from you and your insecurities issues.
Juggling six men isn't going to help you gain self esteem.
Stop the games. Learn and understand what love really is by seeking individual therapy.
Best of luck in the future.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2006): you need to get over yourself...no one has 6 guys in love with them...
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A
male
reader, TheTruth7 +, writes (10 August 2006):
 First, you need to stop worrying about them. Don't be afraid to hurt them, time heals all wounds. Second, these guys may be in the same boat as you. They may believe they are in love with you but if you don't love them back then it is not a true love they feel and you are doing them more harm by not telling them how you feel than by letting them continue on in ignorance. Ignorace is bliss but only on the outside, inside they are being tortured...and they don't know it. In order to find a true love simply give yourself time. Don't say yes to every boy who asks you out. A true relationship is built upon a solid friendship. Know them first, love them second.
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (10 August 2006):
 Whatever perfume you are using can I have a squirt.
Look, chances are they 'fancy' you. I think you sound very young emotionally and I think you should just have non-sexual, no strings attatched fun with them until you find the one you want to settle down with. It may be one of them it may not.
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (10 August 2006):
 I don't believe you really know what love is if you can be feeling the way you do about 6 men! Maybe this is lust or just attraction, or maybe even obsession? Whatever the reason, you need to calm down and stop leading these poor guys on! You must have told them back that you love them too, how will this make them feel when you let them down?!
I think you need to stop being with any guy for now and be on your own. Discover what and who you really want to be in your life. Once you've done that, you'll stop seeing guys who won't materialise into a proper relationship and you won't feel so suffocated or anything. I think, at the moment, you're just using these men for your own amusement and enjoy they all falling at your feet. That's not a bad thing, I know it would feed my ego! Just be careful to resolve this without hurting anyone too badly and think, in the future, do you really love them?
I hope you can sort this relatively pain-free. You are a lucky girl to have all these guys hanging on your every move but it's not as good as it looks, it is?! Chill out for a bit and find someone who makes you feel the way they do. Good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2006): Oh, get over yourself, I doubt if they are "in love" with you, sounds like they say the words as casually as you do. Love acts more than it talks.
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