A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is not exactly a relationship question but I was hoping that I could get views on this issue here.Okay, so my question to all you gays and lesbians out there is: Since when is being gay/lesbian cool?I'm sorry, I am a lesbian myself, but I just don't get it. I notice this happens more with girls than guys. Somehow, girls think it's "cool" to be a lesbian. Isn't it crazy? Okay, this is my story.The straightest and most popular girl in my school recently got into a relationship with a girl. Now I don't know if they're really in love or not, honestly that's none of my business. But when i asked her about it, when i asked, "you're with emily* now?", she smiled and said, "I know, its so cool right? Now I know why you want to be gay."And I just looked at her like, WTF? "Now I know why you want to be gay"? What the hell is that supposed to mean? I didn't WANT to be gay. I didn't choose to be gay because its "cool". I was born like this!Okay so the point is, I am just pissed with people like this because it is because of them that other people don't take me seriously when I say I'm gay! I am more of a lipstick lesbian too, and that doesn't make anything easier! I don't know, I guess I'm just pissed that I had to go through so much rejection and hate when I came out three years ago, and then now, suddenly, people are saying that they're gay like it's a joke. Like it means nothing. I think a part of me is just burning at the unfairness of it all. How can it be fair when three years ago, I was shunned by my own family and friends for coming out as a lesbian, and then now, being a lesbian is like a "fashion statement"? People are becoming lesbians because they think its "cool" to kiss girls. I guess they just don't understand that there is more to being a lesbian than just kissing girls!That being said, of course the fact that lesbianism is accepted in society is better than it not being accepted. But isn't it being accepted for all the wrong reasons? I don't know, I'm just so frustrated.I'm not sure if you have ever experienced anything similar but whether or not you have, tell me how you feel. At least I'll know I'm not the only one frustrated over this. D:
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2011): alot of girls say they are bi/lesbian to turn guys on. alot of guys would consider it an achivement if they could make it with a lesbian or if they could have a threesome. it's stupid really.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2011): I couldnt agree more with you for some reason its become cool for girlz to kiss other girlz . Im lesbian and well id rather not be coz id like to be like my frendsz and be interested in the same people theylike. so some people say that you choose to be gay but i obvo u dont coz why would you want to be gay anyway the girlz in my year seem to think its a choice and at parties to impress boys they all start kissing just for the sake of givin boyz sum entertainment . ANd all these girlz i garantee u are as straight as a ruler. ANd it really annoys me too coz you ask them if their bi/lesbian and there like yeah totallly then you aski them stuff like would you go further than a little kiss and there all like eww thats gross .so tbh just .. i dunno ignore it and like aunty alexmo sed just wathc them make fools of them selves and i rekon sumwhere down the line theyll realise what douches they looked like. RED LIPZ XX
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female
reader, Jen1689  +, writes (4 February 2011):
 I can somewhat understand your frustration. I myself am straight, but many, many girls I know are claiming to be "bi" and hook up with both girls and guys. One girl in particular has dated a guy who she admitted she was bi to. She then told me that they had agreed that it was "cheating" if he hooked up with other girls, but that it was okay for her to hook up with other girls. Especially if he joined in. She was even going to hook up with his ex girlfriend on HIS bed while he sat out in the other room. Sick, right? I have absolutely nothing against gays. I have tons of gay friends and my uncle is gay, but the fact that girls kind of abuse the term is really weirding me out. I think other girls are attractive, for sure. I'll even tell my fiance that I think a girl is attractive, but it's more like owning up to the fact that I'm not the only girl he sees. I would never EVER hook up with another girl because, while I do find some attractive, I'm not in any way attracted to them sexually. You can call it "experimenting" all you want, but I don't think two drunk girls making out at a party while tons of guys watch and others film truly tying to discover their sexuality. Maybe it's just me...
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reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (4 February 2011):
 Yes, back in my day being bisexual was pretty trendy. Welcome to high school, my dear. Right now there are a bunch of teens all trying to figure out their sexuality. They're experimenting and trying on different relationships for size. You were lucky that you knew your sexuality so early. Some people don't really figure out their sexuality until much later in life when they've had time to try things and be curious. I certainly kissed a bunch of girls in high school. I'm not a lesbian, but I was young and playing around with my sexuality a bit. It was simple teenage fun and experimenting!
I also want to remind you that there is a lot of gray area in sexuality. I like the Kinsey scale - it goes from 0 (exclusively homosexual) to 6 (exclusively heterosexual). There is also 'X' for asexuality. And then all the numbers in between. I'd label myself probably a 5. You seem to be putting yourself at a 0. My husband is more like a 3.5. There is a big rainbow of people and preferences out there.
Take this surge of interest in being gay/lesbian as a GOOD SIGN though. For way too long the GLBT community has been completely taboo and unacceptable. I think it's really great that at least now being a lesbian is "cool" rather than a horrible mark for harassment. Your struggle is much easier compared to teens out there getting bullied and hated. Yes, media has kind of created this gay frenzy, but for once the media is helping the cause.
Good luck, sweet! I understand your frustration, but I think the benefits outweigh the annoyances!
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reader, AuntyAlexxmo  +, writes (4 February 2011):
 Im 20 now, but when i was about your age 16/17 loads of girls at school and college would say they were bi because it was cool or because they thought the the boys would like it and it used to drive me crazy. I have found as you get older people dont do that it is more younger teens but still very annoying. Blame katy perry and songs like i kissed a girl! i hope like me as you get older you will notice people dont act in such a stupid way till then i guess your best option is to sit back laugh and think how silly they look.
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reader, chris27 +, writes (4 February 2011):
hello,
now I'm probably the farthest thing from gay lol but maybe she was just curious? And maybe she tried something and she found it amazing?
Also, how do you know she's the straightest? What if she's been gay this whole time and she just has never acted on it because it might have been frowned upon.
I have a best friend who was the "straightest guy I knew" as well. He had relationships with at least 20 different woman/girls before he was 18. Now he's gay and he's always been. He just never embraced it because he never thought he would be excepted.
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