A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I'm so confused. Me and my boyfriend split about a month ago due to him cheating, I cut all contact with him and didn't hear or see him for this month. Although I did still always think about, I kept telling myself he cheated I deserve better. But about a week ago I found a lump in my breast and got really scared and all I wanted was my ex bf, so I phoned him. Since then we have been back in contact, but all my feelings seem to be back I'm back to how I was feeling when we broke up. He has told me that he did met a girl and have been going over her house but they are just friends, and that he stills loves me and misses me. I then asked him to come and see me nit just to talk about how we feel but also to catch up, but every time iv asked he said he's been busy and then later told me he been over this girls house. I confronted him about this and told him although we aren't together no more aren't happy you rather see this girl than me but as your single it's your choose. Every since u said this he's been ignoring me. I dont know what to do or think now, as since we've been back in contact I feel I love him more and miss him more than what we was together, but at the same time can't deal with him going over another girls house now let alone if we got back or if he would get back, I really don't know what to think or do but it's really starting to upset me him not answering or not willing to see me please help ??? P.SThe lump isnt nothing serious it's just a cyst, but do have to have an operation, this is another reason why I want to see, talk and have my ex back as I'm scared
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (17 June 2011):
 Just because you are back in contact with each other doesnt mean he has to be exclusive. He has a girlfriend, he spends time at her house, he prefers to be with her over you.
Are you asking him if he misses you and loves you or is he saying it unprompted. It sounds to me that he cared enough to be there when he thought you were ill, but that he has in fact moved on. Maybe you need to find a family member or female friend to be with you when you have your operation.
A
female
reader, totty-flossy +, writes (17 June 2011):
 from an outside point of view i think you should move on! I know thats easier said than done but the worst thing to do is obsess over him and try and contact him! He cheated and you do deserve better! When you left him it was for a reason and you need to remember that! you have made it worse for yourself by speaking to him again so you need to cut all contact with him! he obviously wants to see this girl or he would of seen you instead! Your obviously upset about this lump you found and even though its nothing serious its still a horrible feeling and will have shaken you up understandably and by him choosing to see this other "friend" over you when you told him you were scared and needed him then he obviously doesn't care enough anymore! He clearly isn't just friends with this girl and he is only saying that to spare your feelings! but by doing so he is giving you false hope!
I know its heartbreaking to loose someone and moving on isn't easy but you have already done the hard bit by leaving him so be brave and stick to your choice to walk away from him! It will be 100 times easier for you if cut all contact with him because as you have learnt when you keep speaking to someone all your feelings come flooding back and you make it harder for yourself!
Turn to friends and family for support through this operation and think of it as a new start! Imagine that lump is him! even though its part of you at the moment you will be much better when it is gone! so when they cut it out and throw it in the bin that's your fresh start! Out with the old that doesn't work and in with the new! Your only young so go out and enjoy yourself! live your life for a bit before settling down with another person!
But trust me the best advice of all is not to speak to your ex anymore and try not to think about him as much! Let go and accept that its over! You do deserve better and you will find it one day!! :) xx If you need a chat feel free to message me! xx
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