A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi.me and my boyfriend riley of 2 years have just moved in together about 3 months ago now. ever since then at LEAST each week ive been in tears. he goes out ALL the time and when he says he will be back he is always hours late to the point where he stays out till stupids time in the nite or early morning. and when i moan and nag him just to spend time with me he goes on his computers for hours . its like he has and makes time for everyone else but me and im ment to b engaged !.. even our sex life has gone rite down hill we hardly have it anymore at all. ive spoken to him about everything ,but he doesnt have a decent enough explanantion ,i even asked if he was seein someone else. he says he aint goin off me ,but then why do i see less of him now where as when we werent livung together i use to see him all the time ? :(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Kattie  +, writes (9 October 2009):
I was in the same situation, I even tried to make him jealous I remember I spent one Sunday evening 4 hours in the local cinema I didn't want to see him coming home and find me there lonely or worse bored I have my pride to defend.When I went back home I was mad at him because after all my sacrifice he wasn't back yet!!!I ran myself a bath and I wore very sexy clothes as I just got back from out, it was effective I showed him I could have good time without his sacred intervention, but in the long run it wores you out.He just isn't the right kind of man to share your life, obviously now you are there he lost his interest,he sees you for lunch, breakfast and dinner why make an effort?He looks to me now he has got you he can go back to chase other women, and live the single life with all the perks and security of a permant relationship.He also shows he is not committed to you, perhaps he is the kind of man who doesn't care about anybody but himself.Don't fool yourself that he is going to change, but I eassure you he will get worse.Do you try to live in separate rooms? If you want to live with him you got to be brave brace yourself to live an indpendend life witout him, go to the gym, meet your friends or make new friends, just accept him the way he is, otherwise forget it, please don't live your life hoping he will change one day..I left that boyfriend of mine I have another one I have been with him 4 years, he is generous, wonderful, he has asked me to marry him or to live with him, but the memory of that relationship where my self esteem went rock bottom it's still preventing me because in the long run believe me will damage you. Let us know what has been happening so farFrom London with affection
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok i get what your saying but when he is sometimes here i try and get his attention but hes just not bothered and i know we re not joined at hip but when you get home from work your by urself he comes in for tea and goes back out at least 5 times a week and when he does come home im in bed asleep ? i hardly see him..
and yer i have put my foot down im a honest person but i could cry untill i go blue in the face and nothin happens
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A
female
reader, cherry cherry boom boom  +, writes (13 August 2009):
You said he goes out all the time, well next time he goes out incist that you go with him always have a reason to spend time with him and if he dosent like it ask him why and tell him to look you in the eye and tellyou the truth. This ya girl, peace.
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A
male
reader, Blessbybeer +, writes (13 August 2009):
Hey! I was in the same situation my self.. To tell you the truth in may get even worst. Well it did for me. I live with my girlfriend about a 8 month. She would never pay any mind to me. She would alway be out and if she was home she would be on the P.c... The best thing I could tell you is ; you most put your foot down. Tell him you don't mind him going out but he need to show you some love.
I ended up moving out my girlfriend apt and we ended up breaking up. Don't say shut! Don't let him walk over you... Your being to lay back! You don't want him to think your is house wife.. If you don't speak up now. That's how it going to end up to be. I could bet if not on the pc. He is to tired
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A
male
reader, lucky 5  +, writes (13 August 2009):
he wants to have the cake and eat the cake he knows that you will stay home and he can his fun out there looking and .... with other women if he is going out say i am going out too do not stay at home go out with your friend love is a game play it like you are a politician .
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2009): Basic human being/animal training states that you reward good behavior and ignore bad behavior. Stop nagging, that will just drive him further away. When he stays home, be loving and sweet. When he stays out, totally ignore him (that doesn't mean be mad, just poker face/body). Find outlets for yourself, go see friends, and realize that you do not need to be joined at the hip. Never withhold sex unless there is some type of cheating or physical abuse/conditions.
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