A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met my current boyfriend about a year ago. When we met he was having what I think was a casual relationship with another girl. He continued to see her whilst we were getting to know one another but once we got serious he ended it with her. My problem is that she is still in his life now, they text each other and I suspect that he has met up with her, although he denies it. It really distresses me that he insists on keeping in touch with her and that he is secretive about it. I found out that he deleted a message he sent to her, he claimed that he was just catching up and seeing how she was doing and that he hasn't spoken to or seen her for a few months, but if that is the case then why did he have to hide it from me? After I asked him why he is still in touch with her he said that he likes her, I am worried that he still has feelings for her. I don't want to tell him he can't see her but I don't understand why he wants to.
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2007): Perhaps they are still friends. I see nothing wrong with them having a continuing friendship, as long as they are not getting intimate. Perhaps he hid the message from you because he knows that you don't like it. I don't think that you have the right to not allow them to be friends anymore. However, if it is more than just a continuing friendship, then you have a right to expect him to break it off. Perhaps my opinion is swayed by my relationship with my wife when we first started going together. I went with another woman when I was first going with my new girlfriend (later my wife). After the relationship ended I saw her non-intimately a couple of times. I also kept in contact with my ex wife for some time, as we got along fine after the divorce. My new girlfriend had no problem with this, so I guess this is why I see no problem with it. She also knew that controlling me was not the way to make me decide that I wanted her for a permanent partner.
|
