A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi im 22 year old male who considers myself straight. I enjoy being with a girl and always have. But since I had entered puberty when I was about 12, I have had homesexual fantasies. In the fantasy i am usually the receiver, typically with an older man. I decided it was a phase, since I had no attraction to men in the real world at all, and I had the fantasies less and less as Ive gotten older. When I was 19 I had a little bit to drink and decided to actually try out this fantasy, I met a guy online and we did it. I felt akward, did not once get an erection, so i asked him to stop and he did. I went home relieved that I finally figured out this fantasy did not mean I was gay, however I felt really bad about doing it. The worst part is I still have the fantasy although it is significantly less! This was nearly 3 years ago and I never wanted to experiement again, but the fact that I actually did this completly drains my self esteem and it it still bothers me. I really need help with this, is there anyone else that has felt this way?
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erection, older man, self esteem Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Kodgypie  +, writes (5 January 2008):
Experimentation and exploring fantasies are perfectly normal. You didn't do anything wrong although i can't whole heartedly agree with hooking up with someone from the net after one meeting. If i was you, i would just try to put it down to experience and perhaps foolishness of youth. It happened and there's nothing that you can do to change the fact, therefore it is best not to beat yourself up too much. Plus it does not define you, who you were or who you will become. thankyou for sharing your experience with us, and like all wounds, it just takes time to heal.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2008): No-one knows and you haven't done it again, end of story for that. Now the self-esteem, its because homosexual activity is seen as wrong in alot of communities, its not your fault, its the way of the world. You have nothing to be ashamed of do you think you are the only guy ever to do this and feel this way? You are not gay, you just like the idea of it, next time you go out in the street look at all the people around you, they all have fantasies, some have acted them out some haven't, you
did and the reality was not the same as the dream, its three years ago and you didn't die from it or get hurt so move on and put it behind you.
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A
female
reader, findingme67 +, writes (4 January 2008):
 I can't exactly say I know what you're going through, but one of my best friends is openly gay. He tried to tell himself that he wasn't up until he was 15, freshmen year. He never once went back to saying girls were hot and never pretended to be interested in them after he came out of the closet.
In your case, I highly doubt that you are homosexual or even bisexual. If you weren't turned on by another guy while having sex and asked him to stop, I honestly don't think you could be with a man over a woman. Also, you did say you enjoy beeing with women.
I just have one question... you have slept with a girl right? If so, you probably did not back down which obviously makes you staight.
I hope my advice helps you out and let me know about your relationship with girls.
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