| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 3 years, on and off, and for the last year, she has refused to have sex with me. We will "fool around" and everything, but when the time for the act of sex arrives, she just backs off and tells me that she doesn't feel right. We used to have quite a bit of sex before without a problem, and she has seemingly never had a problem like this with anyone else in her past. There are no real relationship problems either, as well get along, and love each other very much. I have tried to talk to her many times about this matter, and the only reply I get is the fact that she does not know why this is happening, and cannot force it. I would love to hear some opinions on this matter, as I am at a loss to figuring it out. Thank You for your time.
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (11 March 2008):
 Hi,
sorry dude, but I guess it just sounds like she is not that into any more. At your age you should have a healthy sex life, just brushing it off is not excuse.
You cannot force her into have sex with you, but she cannot force you into having a sexless relationship.
good luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): So you've gone a whole year without sex from your girlfriend? For me that would signal the end of a relationship. Without sex you're little more than close friends. She's either gone through something traumatic or she's just not attracted to you in that way anymore.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): In addition to the STD possibility of transmission that Phil mentions it is also probable that you have not been "adequate" for each other from the very beggining, I.e. sexual incompatibility. It is nobody's fault when this happens (can have nothing to do with the tenderness and if your relationship is based on love this could hardly have been a missing ingredient), only the organism is simply programmed to react to a certain "match," which would lead to the hypothesis she endured the act until a saturation threshold because she, as you say, loves you. Such incompatibility if organical, can be irreconcilable a difference and cannot be cured by communication and the alike, most unfortunately, HOWEVER, hopefully, this is not the case and the pain can derive from other factors such as velocity, penetration angle and the alike. DO talk to her about it and figure it out. One does not interrupt a habitual activity without a specific reason, and "because it doesn't feel right" is not satisfying an answer. Your times are precious. Have a talk, delicately, to find out where you stand and if this can suffer improvement. All the best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): This is a strange one. The first thing that came to mind is that perhaps she's picked up an STD and doesn't want to pass it on to you. Has she perhaps been the victim of a sexual assault and is keeping it to herself?
Other than that, I haven't got the foggiest idea!
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A
female
reader, cute angel +, writes (10 March 2008):
 well as u said ur relationships had a lot of on and off things going on made her feel a lil insecure..she began to wonder if u r the one she wants to spend her rest of her life..she loves u very much no doubt but is still unsure if sex should go with it or no.she din not have these problems in her earlier relationships cuz she wasnt that deeply in love with that person like how she is with u..all u hve to do is love her more spend more time with her keep her happy n she will realise that u r her perfect choice..so best of luck
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