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female
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*hattered_fantasy
writes: I'm 17 years old and I'm pregant with my bf's baby. I've been with my bf for 5-6 years off an on but for the last year we've been doing great. I moved in with him about 2 months ago and things where going good. I'm almost 4 months along in my pregnancy and he seems like he wants nothing to do with it. He's there but he's not the same no more... We never talk, he never holds me or anything anymore unless he wants sex. It's driving my crazy and I don't know what to do. I just want things to be the same but I don't know what to do. Can someone help me pls???Thanks,Michelle
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2006): Michelle I went through this when I got pregnant with my son at the age of 18 I'm now 27 It's so hard because your so emotional I would just talk to him and see if maybe he is scared maybe he thinks you've changed which I'm sure to some extent you have pregnancy does that If he doesn't change then just focus on you and your baby hopefully when that baby comes he'll have a change of heart! I wish you the best of luck!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2005): Keep in mind that his distance may have very little to do with you. Since you're only 17, I'm assuming he's also very young. In five months, he's going to be a father, and his life is going to change forever. That takes a lot of getting used to. He may be worried about the future, wondering whether he's man enough to handle all this, wondering whether he'll be able to support a family and be a good dad. All those things are totally normal, and if he's worried about these things, it's because he cares, not because he doesn't.
My advice would be to talk to him about this. DO NOT talk to him about this when you're feeling emotional. WAIT. Wait until the timing is right. Look for a time when he's around and seems relaxed -- maybe one night after dinner or a Saturday morning when you've just woken up. Start the conversation by telling him something you're thinking about the baby. Not about planning for the baby, but actually about the baby. About what it will be like, about whether you'll be a good mother, whatever. I'm sure there must be things you wonder -- it's natural. Maybe it's something as simple as wondering whether it's a boy or a girl. Just mention it. See how he reacts. Ask him if he ever thinks about how your lives will change once the baby is born. If there's something you've thought about, mention it, to help him feel comfortable sharing his own thoughts.
Based on how that conversation goes, consider then mentioning that you've noticed he's seemed a bit distant lately, and you wonder if he's feeling anxious about all the coming changes. BE SURE NOT TO FRAME THIS AS A COMPLAINT! If your bf really is nervous, the last thing he needs right now is to feel like he's not even doing a good job at being your bf. You both need to support each other, and it sounds like he'll be able to support you better if you can support him a little first.
Good luck!!
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