A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi!So five months ago i met this guy i'll call him J. J seemed too perfect Claimed to be "Open Minded", Is very Attractive, Seemed to have a Great Personality. We started dating three months ago. Anyways i am Bi-Racial mom is white and my dad is Jamaican.. but i have blonde hair and hazel eyes (defiantly do not look completely white) i look Brazalian if anything. So J met my mom who is white (dad is not in the picture any longer) and everything was great... Well a few days ago i was showing him some pictures of me when i was younger in Jamaica with that side of the family since i figured he had never asked me my ethnicity. He asked "who are those people with you in the picture" i told him my family as i told him this i watched his face go completely blank like he had just seen a ghost. So me being confused asked " you know i am half black right" and he told me he had no idea he assumed i was Italian (can't see why?!?!?!) . Anyways when he left my place he could hardly kiss me goodbye or look at me and the FU*!@* up thing is he has not contacted me since. I am so SHOCKED, i have tried to get in contact with him but he is just ignoring me. It is pretty obvious that he has a problem with me being black but i think i deserve a good explanation why, as he claims to be "open minded" and we were having a perfectly good relationship. What should i do, this is/ was my boyfriend and i care for him, do i carry on bothering him until i get some answers or leave it?!?Appreciate it Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2010): Why would you want to be with a chap who is quite clearly some kind of bigot. Ok so he assumed you were half italian and then he was surprised when you showed him pictures of you being part Jamaican. Why would you still want to speak to a guy who behaved in that manner. He has issues and I imagine is going to avoid speaking to you because he doesn't want to deal with this. The chap is not worth even trying to get an explanation out of. You are obviously a beautiful girl and can get someone so much better. Even though he was your boyfriend and you cared for him, seeing him act like this must tell you what kind of guy he is deep down. Sadly there are a lot of people like that out there. I would keep away from him, even if you pin him down you will get some kind of evasive answer anyway so I would just move on as quickly as possible.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2010): Wow! This is the weirdest thing I have heard in a looong time.
If he's ignoring you there is not much you can do about it. You will have to tell yourself that you are lucky he found out sooner rather than later. He obviously does not deserve you.
Just to give him the benefit of the doubt, message him once saying you suspect he's reacting to your background and that you are amazed and would have appreciated honesty about what's going on.
Then move on... Leave him alone. Keep him out of your thoughts except to shake your head once in a while and be amazed at how bizzare he is!
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