A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have a 15 month old with my partner,our first child together. I absolutely love being a mum and love seeing our son with my partner but our intimacy and sex life has drastically changed. Obviously I knew that it would change but it's both a physical and mental thing for me. Basically before we got pregnant and even right at the start our sex life was incredible, the chemistry was through the roof but it just disappeared for me with the pregnancy. I was hoping it would come back eventually after our son was born but it's not. I still absolutely love and fancy my partner but just don't get excited for sex at all. In Fact I almost find myself getting embarrassed which is just so odd. We still try to make time for sex but I know it's impacting my partner as he thinks I don't fancy him anymore, and it's hard to explain that my body and brain just don't think that way anymore, and the zero body confidence doesn't help either. Can anyone understand this or give me tips to try?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (17 August 2023):
 I think this is normal. TBH
Your focus is on the baby, not MAKING another baby. While we MEDICALLY can prevent pregnancies, evolutionary-wise, it would make sense (for a woman) to NOT want sex until the baby is older and less dependent.
I think though, you should go have a talk with your doctor. A complete drop in sex drive might have another cause.
And maybe, consider getting a gym membership. It will make YOU feel better about YOU. Which is OVERALL important.
I didn't lose my sex drive per se, but after kiddo #3 - I was just done lol But we worked hard on maintaining intimacy and sex even if I wasn't always in the mood.
You need to find a balance where you can SHOW your partner that you LOVE him, WANT him and NEED him in a way HE can understand and appreciate.
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