A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am caught up in a 'dilemma... it seems that I like someone who is off limits and that I crossed paths with a month ago, almost. I was walking on my way home and had to use public transport in my local area. As I was walking to catch the last bus,I saw someone I've crossed paths with more so in the past,but rarely see him at all these days. He works for the bus company. Anyhow, I waved at him and said hi, with a smile on my face. He said hello back. I had to use the toilet on the other side to where he was standing and I saw him, to which he passed comment to me. His friend who he was working with at the time said "can he have your number"... I didn't think anything into it and thought perhaps he was joking. The man who I'm writing this post about then went into the room on the side, as I was walking into the toilet. When I came out, his friend was standing on the other side and said "he likes you". My responce was "really, I thought you were only joking"... I then asked him "what did he say" and he said that his friend thinks I'm nice, followed by "he's going red". He asked me if I wanted to know that persons name, so I said "yes"... so he gave me his name and then asked me what mine is. After that point, he said that he would tell his friend and then he went into the room his friend was working in. I haven't crossed paths with him since, but for once, my impulse was to like him back! And I don't usually get energised much by other peoples interests. I'm finding that it's not too easy to talk myself out of the attraction triggered from that night. And have realised that even if he did like me, he's still a man primed with certain evolutionary instincts and will be living his own life and will likely be pursuing people in limits,etc. I do understand these things and can respect things for what they are. Anyhow, there is a man on my social media account. He has asked me for my time and has just asked me for my number. I think he may be genuinely interested. My friend said that I should try and open up and give things a chance, because I could be missing out on a good thing. I am heavily cautious, but believe that he may have some depth to his nature. I'm not too sure what to do... I feel that the reasonable thing to do would be to open up to the opposite sex and live my life in the moment. I actual felt a level of attraction towards the man who works for the bus serivces, but feel that it could perhaps be slightly low-value behaviour not to open up to someone who is in limits (online) and who may well have genuine interest. From a man's perspective, if there was a fit woman who wanted him, then I know deep down that he wouldn't say... I crossed paths with a woman some time ago and I think she's nice, so I'm not going to give you the time of day, etc... Men do not attach to women in the same way we do with them! They have a different psychology all together and it's best not to be overly open to a man, before it's reached an appropriate time to do so... Would really value some good insight right now... I have no idea if/when I will cross paths with the man from my local bus services and if we would even speak again. Plus, he might be open to someone in his social circle, or people he's speaking to online, etc... so he might preference to being off limits specially. I feel an unresolved attraction and my thoughts are... it's something I will have to let pass... Meanwhile, I'm in two minds about opening up more to the man who's available and wants my number... Would really appreciate some feedback. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2023): Honeypie, he is approximately my age, although he may not have been expecting his friend to say "can he have your number"...
His friend may just be the type to speak before he thinks...
Obviously something was said between them both, for his friend to say what he did.
If I'd already communicated enough with that man, to the point where there's an obvious level of attraction, then it might be much more natural for a man to ask for someone's number.
The only thing that was really said was "hello" and that's about it...
He may not want to take anyones number at this point in time. Possibly he could be getting over something or another and may not want to exchange numbers with others for whatever reason.
I don't know him or his personal circumstances and not all people who are single are ready to be too open with the opposite sex.
On a deeper level, we are all on our own unique path and some of us with indepth complications along the way.
One thing I do know though is that if there is enough attraction between two people then a man asking for a woman's number is not so much of an issue.
It's not uncommon for many men to deeply fear rejection from the opposite sex and especially if it's not too overly obvious that we are into them, etc...
As mentioned, we only really said "hello" and that was about it...
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (16 August 2023):
 I had to check your age....
If this guy (at the bus depot) is your age and interested in you, HE should have asked for your number, not have his friend do it.
Y'all too old for this kind of school yard behavior.
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