A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:He cannot find love for my kids!I have been living with this man for over four years. Everything was great til he had a stroke at the age of 44in June of 2007. Since then he has had no tolerance what so ever for my girls 11 and 6. They cannot even sing. He says I am way to easy and he is way old school. They are to play in their bedroom, no toys ever in the livingroom, no dancing ( and they take dance classes). The man changed from night to day. He used to do tea parties with them and go out and make snowmen. I feel like we are walking on eggshells and he acts like I am all wrong for being upset. I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place and always referreeing! He is mad because I will not give in to marrying him! I love him deeply, but I wish I had the old one back, the man before the stroke. He has no other family to take care of him and he cannot live on his own. In fact I do not make enough to do it all on my own either. I just really do not know what to do! To me my kids come first.....is this wrong?Any Ideas! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Teacake +, writes (4 December 2008):
 You need to speak to a medical professional to find out what's going on with a stroke victim. Its possible he will always be this new guy who isn't all too nice anymore.
You might have to tell him he has no right to lay down the rules to YOUR children. (his children too?) Tell him old school is his personal view and doesn't work for you and if he doesn't like it, he can leave your home. This might be a situation where you have to be a little cold toward him if you feel trapped and especially if it is having a negative effect on your children.
At the very least he should find one of those places to live where they help adults, since you say he can't live on his own. Or find an inexpensive place and hire a nurse or something.
I'm sorry to say, if he isn't the father of your children, your children come first, only because you say he is now being a huge drain on everyone and everything.
Not a very easy situation to be in.
You can also tell him that you would rather he move out - but if he chooses to stay with you, that you are the one taking care of him, that he will follow your rules or he can find someone else to take care of him.
If he isn't the father, if he is basically just a boyfriend, he has no right to make any rules for you or your children.
I hate to ask you this, but if the situation were turned around and it was you who had the stroke and changed, would he remain committed to you?
Basically, children first.
|
