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Since he is unemployed he has become controlling.

Tagged as: Family, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 December 2009) 4 Answers - (Newest, 26 December 2009)
A female South Africa age 41-50, anonymous writes:

helo n merry xmas to every1.i have a bit of a prob.my hubby is unemployed and we have 3 kids together.a few yrs ago he had an affair which resulted in a child.we are stil together.but now that he's unemployed he's very controlling and wants to know what i do with every cent of my money.he told me if i dont hlp him 2 pay the maintanence for his child the authorities would subpoena and legally force me to pay his maintenance?pls help me i thnk tht

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

dear degorius thank you so much what you said was definitely helpful. Celtic tiger thank you for your input i'm going to a lawyer a.s.a.p.

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A female reader, celtic_tiger United Kingdom +, writes (26 December 2009):

celtic_tiger agony auntDear Poster

I think you need to seek legal advice urgently. IF your husband has another child by another woman as a result of cheating, then I think you should question your responsibility to that child. Go and see a lawyer and find out exactly where you stand. This is not your child, but his, therefor his responsibility.

We cannot give you legal advice, but do not let him bully you. At the moment he is trying to scare you into paying as you dont know the legal ins and outs, and he thinks you will give in because he says thats whats going to happen. Find out all the facts and then stand up to him. He could be telling you lots of lies, so get as much info together as you can! Be prepared and if he asks questions, be able to provide the answer. This child is not your responsibility - its his.

You and your children deserve better!

Good luck.

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A male reader, degorius United States +, writes (26 December 2009):

well i dont know much about the leagal end of your troubles at all, but as for his controlling additude you have to be a little understanding and cooperative(at least to a point).

Men generally feel a duty to be the head of the house and provide for the family, when you loose your job it can certainly be demasulating and frustrating. I bet he feels like hes lost control of his life and that hes not good enough as a person or a man. Your husband probably feels that its his resposiblity to make sure you have money so hes just trying to keep a close watch to try and help. If he wasnt controling before hes probably lashing out whether he means it or not, try and just be there for him, i mean isnt a wife/husband supposed to be supportive, help him look for a job, maybe give him some odd jobs around the house(manly things with tools not laundry ;) ) and if he doesnt shape up maybe consider leaving him :/

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thank you so much satin desire your answer didnt help at all.i also didnt say you are lawyers.i was looking for someone that maybe could relate to what i'm going through and then give some needed advice.your answer had nothing to do with my question,but thanks alot anyway

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