A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi all. This isn't a relationship problem but it involves my partner, so here it goes...Basically, I moved in with my boyfriend of four and a half years about three months ago. Everything was going great. We both had jobs and although both of them not highly paid, we managed to get everything we needed and still had money to spend on luxuries now and again. About a month ago I started getting into a bit of bother at work. I'm a care assistant. I love my job and love enteracting with the clients, I adore them all but I've been having some problems with a few of the women at the office. They were making me work 16 hour shifts for up to three or four days in a row. While I was happy to do this for two days, I wasn't getting enough sleep to continue doing it. I brought this up in a staff meeting and they were furious. I explained how I wasn't getting home until 11.15pm at night and was having to get up at 5.45am to go back to work, having hardly any time to shower and eat when I got home. I finally decided enough was enough and I went to my doctor. I broke down and she upped my dosage on my anti depressants. (I was currently on anti depressants for something completely different). My doctor gave me a sick note for a fortnight which I took to my employer. Having being off sick for just over a week now, I am struggling to live on sick pay. My boyfriend is having to pay for most of the household essentials which I know is putting pressure on him, even though he doesn't say anything. He has hardly any money left for himself. I have car insurance to pay, catalogue bills, a mobile phone bill, I've borrowed £200 off my parents and I've even resorted to taking out a payday loan, even though I have no idea how I'm going to pay it back! I could go back to my job, but I'm only a casual worker (a zero hour contract) so I know that because I've been off sick, they're unlikely to give me the hours I need. This is putting strain on my relationship and I can't sleep at night. I don't see any way out of this. Can someone please recommend something I can do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2014): People can live on any amount of money. When I just started a family, we lived on 30$ a week for food 3 of us. Though no one believed me. I discovered market where I was buying fruits and veggies for pennies. I was clipping coupons at night non stop. I cooked all the time, of course there was no outings. I was buying close on 80% sale, and for my daughter even second hand stores where I could find brand new baby clothes. Other posters right: if only a week put you into a hardship, you ll need to find a way to save some money. If you said, I don't make enough for my bills on a regular basis, then it will be understandable, but you said you make enough even for occasional luxuries. I would do a couple of charts with my precise budget. When you see it all on a screen it's much easier to understand where your money go. I got into this habit long ago, and even now when our finances are in order,I can plan even our vacation with an exact number : how much hotels can be max, how much food and so on. It organizes you greatly and you stop feeling pressure of not having enough. This way you can afford much more than people with the same income but no budgeting. Why other posters giving you these advices is because it's obvious there is a problem with money managing here. Which is understandable at your young age. Just remember this: every penny spent matters. I now one girl who goes to Starbucks every morning for her favorite pumpkin spice coffee. Once I went with her, and I couldn't believe it when I paid more than $5 for it. So, this girl pays almost a 1000$ a year for coffee only, how crazy it is??She is not rich, she works as a nurse. Another one of my friends goes out for lunch every single day. It's minimum 10$ every day, so it's another 200$ a month. I always take something from home, and it cost me 40$ a month. Little things like this accumulated might cost you few thousands a year that u can save. The other thing that worries me is how is it your company makes you work all these hours? If you lived in US there would be a huge law suit here. Not only they are endangering your life but also life of your clients. ( if they are elderly). Don't you guys have work laws that prevent employers from making their employees work so much overtime in a row. This is a very dangerous practice. I know in Germany you absolutely can't work more than 8 hours, and if you do you are in trouble.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2014): If your a carer for your grandparents then are you claiming Carers Allowance, this would help with the cost of running your car and let you work less hours to enable you to help with grandparents officially?If this is not possible then can your parents look after them instead, run them to various appointments so you do not need to run the car?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi
Thank you for your input. I have rang my catalogue company to ask if they can lower my payments until I'm back in work full time. They agreed. I took out a washing machine and cooker from the company as I believe those things are essential. I am only having trouble with my money at the moment as I was being bullied into doing long shifts at work and couldn't cope. I have two interviews this week for different jobs so hopefully I'll be back on my feet soon.
I couldn't be without my car. I am a carer for my grandparents and my car is essential for taking them to hospital appointments. When I am in work, my brother looks after them but he doesn't drive so if they have to be somewhere, I take them. As for my phone bill, I am on the lowest price plan possible.
Yes I've got myself into an awkward situation after only one week being off sick. I spent money on things that I shouldn't have but we all make mistakes and I am doing my best to get myself out of it.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (12 May 2014):
 I think you need to try not to panic (I know easier said than done) and really sit down and think about your incoming and outgoing finances.
https://www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/categories/tools--resources has a lot of useful resources to help for budget planning and things.
There are so many ways to save money (I had to learn to do this myself). Firstly you have to make a very strict list of what you NEED to live and what are luxuries. From this you can work out a rough figure of what you need to earn per month to cover all costs.
Second, stop paying for anything non-essential. I don't know how much you spend on catalogues, but these are notorious for ripping people off. Get rid of them, and if you still owe money, you can talk to the financial aid people to see if there are ways of spreading costs.
Are you on a monthly phone contract? Can you reduce the amount you spend?
Food bills - get creative in the kitchen! It is amazing what you can make for very little if you put your mind to it. A large packet of minced beef can make about 6/8 portions of food.
I agree with Oldbag though - if you have got into this situation after only one week, then I think you need to take this as a wakeup call and really start to look at your spending habits. We cannot all live the celebrity lifestyle and have to cut our coat according to the cloth we have.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2014): Get in touch with the CAB to see if you are entitiled to anything else (such as benefits) and for advice on how to manage your creditors
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (12 May 2014):
 If your in this state after only one week off sick then I think you should calm down. Or did you mean to put one month?
You have already borrowed £200 off your parents and taken out a payday loan. The payday loan will cost you a fortune to pay back with the interest added so you will be working all hours again to pay it off.
You need to sit down with your boyfriend and write out a budget sheet, all money coming in and all outgoings. Its time to cut back.
Ask yourself what you can live without, ie do you really need your car? Very expensive item to run.
Try to pay off the catalogues OR reduce the payments,phone them explain situation. Then throw the catalogue in the bin. Save for items don't pay through the nose buying from these.
The essentials MUST be paid, rent utilities, council tax. You can cut back on food and luxuries.
Look for another job but return to your old one till you find something,phone them today, if your on zero hour contract 'you' say when your available for work. As for the long shifts, you just say I can do an early shift but not a late on such and such days.
However as you are now in debt after only one week without wages then you will have to work to pay your debts plus bills. Is there stuff you can sell besides your car at a carboot or online?
If your off for longer than a month then maybe consider moving back home until your debts are cleared, I am sure your parents would rather you were home, happy, clearing debts than in worse debt and depressed
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