A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 21 year old guy, in school, and I've never had a girlfriend. I've never even been on date. I'm still a complete virgin, never even had a first kiss yet. I'm normal and intelligent. The thing is I am just really shy and nervous, especially around girls. I really hate it and I try not to be so shy, but it's just the way I am and I probably always will be. I'm fine once I feel comfortable around someone, but as I get older, I'm becoming increasingly self-conscious and confident about being my inexperience and being a virgin.My friend suggested a hooker. I turned him down at first (so he took me to the strip club instead), but I've since been considering getting an upscale escort. I'm obviously worried about the legality of it, diseases, and how I'd feel afterwards since I got a really big crush on the stripper, but I have recently been in contact with an escort who seems really sweet and kind and is understanding of my situation. My questions are, Would girls be okay dating someone like me? Would my complete inexperience/being a virgin be a turnoff? And what do you think about the escort? Since I get plenty of advice from guys (mostly bad advice), I would prefer to hear mainly girls' opinions, please.
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crush, escort, never had a girlfriend, shy, stripper Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xalfiex  +, writes (14 August 2008):
 NO. NO PROSTITUTE.
Sorry about the caps, but its gotta hit home. Dont worry about being a virgin, everybody is different. And its cute, really! You just have to relax, and take a breath. If you keep calm you'll be fine. Find a girl that you can relate to and who'll treat you good and you will be laughing, my duck!
Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI asked the question. Thank you to everyone who took the time to reply. All your responses were very helpful. You ladies are all very kind and made me feel much better. I hope most girls out there are like you. Thanks.
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A
male
reader, ask sweeney :) +, writes (11 August 2008):
 friend, forget hookers and escorts, your virginity should be a special thing and i understand your shy but try to gain some more confidence and get a girlfriend naturally, dont try to have sex with hookers or escorts because its meaningless, and sex should not be meaningless, so my advice would be stop doubting yourself, walk with your head held high and be yourself, that way when you do get a girlfriend she will be with you for who you really are, remember she cant get to know the real you if your being shy and hidden away, you have to be confident and show the real you and if you do end up in a relationship with a girl who is with you for who you really are then you have nothing to worry about with sex .... you just let it happen naturally and you have nothing to worry about because if she is with you for the real you she will respect you for who you are ... wich means you dont have to worry about being a virgin or any other bad sexual sceniaro thats going through your head ... because shes your girlfriend and shes with you for who you really are .... ( i understand you very well because i was a extremly shy person at one time ... but you cant let things hold you back from showing the real you )
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008): First allow me to say that I am completely impressed with your self-control. If I could do things over, I would love to be with a man who was a virgin and to whom I gave up my virginity.
There is something so sacred and special in giving up your virginity to someone, you shouldn't even give a nano-second of a thought to doing that with a prostitute (yes, escort may sound nicer but she is a prostitute). You will remember your first time for the rest of your life, don't taint that memory this way.
When a couple first has sex, it's not as good as a year later when you know each other and can play your partner's body like a violin.
Start wearing your virginity like a gold medal, that's really what it is, instead of acting like it's a burden.
Relax when you are out with women and take an interest in who and what they are, the rest will fall in place and you will have sex with a woman you care about ...who also cares about you.....and it will be a great experience that makes a memory you will cherish unto the grave.
I envy the lucky woman who 'gets' you.
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A
male
reader, Nick Man +, writes (11 August 2008):
its the same with men-I would like to be with a women who is a virgin becuase she would seem more trustworthy and wise, becuase if she wasnt, she got into something she shouldnt have and that gives a huge impression that you should not want. Virgins are trustful people, and be proud.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008): Oh sweetie, women would love to date a man like you... as long as you don't sleep with the escort, total 'No, No," Just get out there and get comfortable with a nice young lady. I'm sure they will fall head over hills for you, if you just give them, and yourself the chance. Best of luck Love Bug!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008): Hey, forget the excort and the prostitute. Your story isn't much different than mine. I kissed my first girlfriend at the age of 18. By the time I had my first sex at 21, I had only kissed 3 women. I was very shy and married my first sexual partner. We split after 11 years. I lost some of my shyness over the years, but I was still shy after my first wife left me. I had a difficult time meeting women, but 2 of my 4 partners after my divorce were really nice women and made it known that they wanted to marry me. They were both much more experienced than I was. One of those is now my wife.
You probably have a lot going for you and you just don't project to women how much fun you can be. My wife turned me down for a date twice before we were both with a group of people from work one Saturday night at a tavern. She decided that I was more fun than she had thought from my shy behavior at work. Some of us went over to my house that night after we left the tavern and she came with us. I asked her for a date when she was leaving for the night and she accepted. She broke up with her current boyfriend the night after our first date and we had not had sex yet.
Us shy guys can often make a big impression even with experienced women if we are respectful, gentle, considerate and can make them laugh. The other woman who wanted me was much more experienced than me in bed and was happy with the sex that we had and let me know it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008): mmmmmm.... virgin male... I smell forbidden fruit.. tastes so sweet, but I'm an auntie and I must resist.. what you waiting for, get out there, many girls are just waiting to meet a nice guy just like you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008): Virgin males are cute, makes girls think about toy boys and introducing you too good sex. Don't be worried, if the girls find out they'll go mad and drag you to the nearest bed. You got to turn your head arround... Your a virgin, because you choose to share your body with somebody you love and trust. It's a lifestyle thing, and you need to feel confident with your sexuality and the choices you have made. A professional prostitute is no good, she will not give you the intimacy you seek and you will not like it. Tell the girls your a virgin, and smile and tell them that they might be the one to change your mind... You need to get confidence, keep your virginity if you want to, but I'm telling you, that you will drive girls wild with your innocence. You just got to get some confidence. Virginity is not a disease, it's a lifestyle choice and ton's of people feel jealous of you that you respect your body and mind enough to wait for meaningfull sex... Don't ruin it by giving it to a prostitute or a one night stand. Men who are virgins are confident men who hold their values and morality close... Many women would love to introduce you to kind, freindly and exciting sex... Don't worry there is nothing wrong, you just are one of the few sensible men who have respect for themselves and think that sex is something important and linked to relationships and love... again I say, be brave, tell the women, and watch them go wild... Good luck, your in for some exciting experiences....Blessings
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A
female
reader, sam0590 +, writes (11 August 2008):
personally id be more put of by you having lost your virginity to an escort than you being a virgin..you don't have to go up to girls you meet and tell them outright that your a virgin. go out with them get to know them and then when the times right tell them.
im not gonna preach about your first time needing to be special cos for most people its not..but don't do it with an escort..its all a bit sleazy. and don't be shy round girls..trust me..most girls would just jump at the chance to meet a nice sweet guy. so just relax.and the inexperience thing wouldnt necessarily be a turnoff..the escort thing definately would though.and plus..experience doesn't necassarily make someone good..so it could even be a good thing that your going into it with an open mind. so just get out there and meet some nice real girls that are interested in you!! hope this helps. xxx
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A
female
reader, LouLee +, writes (11 August 2008):
 No, many girls like guys who are virgins.
Quite a few girls save theirselves aswell you know.
I think it's great you're a virgin because when you really do love someone and you want to have sex with them, you wont regret it the night later.
I think escorts are a bad idea personally, just because of all the risks.
g'luck.
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A
female
reader, confused6867 +, writes (10 August 2008):
Well im a 23 yr old girl and yes girls would be ok with dating you. And no being a virgin isnt bad at all, it would be great if more guys was less of whores. If i was you i would definetly not go with the escort or hooker idea. If i had the choice of a guy that was a virgin or a guy that had been with the hooker id kick the one with the hooker out. Thats just gross to me. I would of loved to been a guys first but thats hard to find. Just wait and the perfect girl for you will come along. It always happens when you quit looking.
Good Luck
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