A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:OP's own title:So I've had this girl who I've known has been into me for quite some time. We know each other from work and are good mates. But here's the weird thing, she suddenly turned into a single mother... almost literally overnight. She's not a big girl, but somehow she hid the fact that she was pregnant from everybody at work (whilst still working the bar), had 3 weeks off work and then came in with a baby. Don't ask me how that works, but it shocked us all. Now that was awesome and I rang her and said good on ya for keeping it... (ex-boyfriend overseas who said he wanted nothing to do with the baby at all). But that's still kinda a scary thing for me and I backed off as she made more and more bold attempts to show she was interested. Its been a year or so, but I miss hanging out with her and I kinda ended up kissing her on a drunken night out. Now I don't want to send mixed signals to her, but that's too late now, even though it was only one signal after a year of turning her down. She has a kid, she's a good mate and she deserves to find a good guy, one who has his shit together and will treat her nice. But maybe I'm just over-thinking things simply because she has a kid. I wouldn't mind having a casual thing with her, but I kinda want her to find a decent guy and have a proper relationship. I don't want to f# and k her around as shes a good friend when it all boils down to it. A lot of this comes down to me suddenly treating her differently because she has a kid, so my question... should you treat single mothers any differently when considering having any kind of relationship with them?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2010): Your friend and her baby are a package deal. So, if the two of you start dating and fall in love, could you be a good stepfather to her child? I think that's the main difference between dating a single parent and dating someone who's just single.
A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker  +, writes (28 July 2010):
 It's definitely something you should think about, after all a kid is definitely 'baggage' in a relationship.
It's a good thing you're thinking this through. Shows you're a decent sort I guess. Have you thought about what she wants? Are you sure it isn't you she's looking for? Maybe you CAN be 'that guy' that will do right by her.
Think about it. If you're not going to be involved with her, though, please stop sending her mixed signals. She won't find that 'someone else who will treat her right' unless you leave her free to do so.
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