A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I am disgusted at myself for what I am about to tell say. A few months ago, i cheated on my boyfriend of 2 years. He found out after I left texts on my phone when I got drunk at a work function and he found them. We fought for ages but eventually he agreed just to see each other and see how things go. Unfortunately, while we were apart i kissed 2 other people and he found out again! Not until he found out that I had seen the previous guy once more and kissed him again. Well as you can imagine he was deeply hurt and very angry. I love my boyfriend so much and it wasn't until I saw the hurt in his eyes when he found out what had happened that I realised what I had done. I have never been that sort of person and wish never to be again. I have since cut all contact with the guy i cheated with along with "friends" that helped it to happen and I am really trying to make it up to my boyfriend. I see him regularly now and he says he still loves me and knows how sorry i am. However he doesn't know if he can trust me again. I am extremely sorry for what I did and have most definately learnt that the only man that I ever want is my boyfriend. But now it might be too late. Should we try to repair the relationship or are we prolonging the hurt? We are both split on whether to try again because neither of us wants to lose the other. We are so close and best friends so if I lose him then I lose my best friend too. But is it for the best?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (12 March 2008):
 Please stop drinking, and give this relationship another go!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008): Right... You cheated on your guy once, then you were feeling so sorry you snogged not ONE but TWO other people.
That is 3 times you cheated. Do the brits have saying similar to this "a donkey doesn't hit the same stone twice" which means even a dumb animal doesn't make the same mistake twice?
Or perhaps "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me", he says he don't trust you anymore, can you blame him?
You got to ask yourselve, why can't you keep your hands of other men?
You might just not be ready to settle down, it happens, some people are not for monogamous relationships but be honest about it unless you enjoy hurting others.
You might have a self-destructive streak, you unwillingly seek to destroy this relation. A fear of commitment? Feeling things are going to fast?
Sit yourselve down and answer HONESTLY why you did what you did. Until you do, you can't be certain it won't happen again and how can you expect him to trust you like that? Remember, you didn't cheat ONCE, you didn't cheat TWICE, you cheated THRICE.
Offcourse your sorry, but are you really? You didn't confess the first cheating not the second nor the third, he had to find out each one for himself. My god the guy must like punishment.
You want him back? Sure you do, sounds like the others ditched you. Ask yourselve rather, why would he want a girl who can't keep her legs closed? When you can answer that, THEN you can start thinking of asking him to take you back and you better be very certain it won't happen again.
My advice to him, this girl is going to hurt you again and again, beware.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2008): Hey there,
I am glad you have seen how badly this can effect someone and the consequences. That lesson is something you now need to cheerish as your remider of how we can really damage something which is important to us, if we get a little to into being reckless.
You understnad that cheating is certainly one of the most distructive actions to happen to the innocent partner, and the recovery from that betrayal is enormous and even changing. Alot of his opinions about who you are and what you stand for are his resistance. The thing is you can tell him you now understand you hurt him, but when you slipped up again with showing attention to others, he saw this as just another lie you have told him to get around that you can't control yourself as well as you should.
The situation your in now, about whether to get back with him, is a big one for him. What sort of things do you think you need to work through about yourself which could give him confidence that you have changed and changed for good.
If a cheating partner, wishes to get another chance, then all they can do is their upmost in showing the injured partner that they are also just as mortified and disturbed by the way they have let themselves treat others so poorly and that they are highly motivated to change this behaviour and be trustworthy.
The decision for you is easy, it is huge for him and he is the one taking the risk. If you consider this is something you wish to do, again, make sure BOTH you and he, think your worth the risk.
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