A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been married to my husband for almost 3 yrs, it fell apart because I treated him like a nobody and wasnt very greatful for the things he did for me and our son. And now that I saw my mistakes he chose not to be with me anymore and I accept it. He knows that I still love him alot and he cares abt me but doesnt want to get hurt no more. We still live together for our son and becuase we have some debt. But we are still planning to get a divorce. We dont fight and are good friends but my question is that should we still have sex? Becuase we told each other that we can have an open marriage and we know we're just talking to other people. But should we continue to make love. I mean I like it, I feel its happier, but I know its temporary...
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male
reader, doublejack +, writes (11 January 2011):
While going through a divorce, I had to live with my ex-wife for several months. We did not continue to have sex during that time and I feel that it was the right decision. Divorce is a very emotional time, particularly with a child involved. It is best, in my opinion, not to further complicate the situation with sex.
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (11 January 2011):
 Emotionless sex is like masturbating
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (11 January 2011):
 What happens if you get pregnant again just as you two file for divorce? What happens if being with him makes it harder for you to get over him but he leaves anyway? What happens if you catch an STD from him that he got from another woman?
It's your risk to take, but it sounds like it will cause more heartache.
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (11 January 2011):
 I think having sex with one another will only make parting worse when ultimately it happens. If you guys have an open marriage as well, you could be exposing yourself to STDs. More or less, I agree with PinkTopaz's assessment.
However, I am curious though, if you guys are willing and capable of having sex, why are you divorcing? Have you given any thought of giving your relationship another try for the sake of your child? Divorces can be extremely tough on children and your son is already emotionally invested in (from what it sounds like his step-father / father), why put him through that turmoil?
Usually, if people are divorcing, the thought of sleeping with their soon-to-be-ex makes their skin crawl. Perhaps you ought to reconsider your decision and make a commitment to love and cherish one another and see what happens.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (11 January 2011):
Like you said...you'll be happier temporarily. You're still married but only living together because of financial circumstances; however, if you were still in the same situation but didn't live together would you still want to or even think having sex together is a good idea? Probably not. I'm sure you're thinking it's convenient and heck, he's still your husband. But if you're planning on divorcing, I don't think it's a good idea to still have sex with each other, especially if you're having an open marriage and you don't know if he's having sex with someone else and what that someone else may have. I'm only saying this because a family member of mind chose to have an open marriage and she ended up with herpes...from her husband.
I think having sex will get in the way of each others' feelings and make either you or him feel worse about it down the road. You're esentially using one another, or one moreso than the other so I think someone will end up feeling more hurt once the divorce proceeds. Like I said, it's convenient to have sex with each other but probably not a good idea.
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