A
female
age
36-40,
*ailz457
writes:My boyfriend and I have recently broke up. This made my world come crashing down because i thought he was giving up on us. He has a drinking problem and is depressed about his past and things that have happended in it.At first when we broke up i was very immuture and blammed him for giving up on us and that it was hard to deal it. I finally researched it and got more into what he was sort of dealing with, well trying to get a more indpeth concept of it. We are meeting up this week to get some closure and i have seeked some professionals on how to support him through this and they gave me really good advice on how to keep myself grounded and to stay postive, keep doing things that i would normally do. How do I make him see that I wont be dragged down and that i got the resources and the support i need if i ever do feel that way, or should we stay friends and see where it goes? what should I do ?
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female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (4 December 2012):
 He has a problem not you, he has broken up with whether of his drinking problem or otherwise. You will not move on if you keep any form of contact. Have your meeting get the closure but also make sure thats the end of a chapter and you move forward. To me it sounds like you want to help him and hope in the long run for a reconciliation. You are wasting your time because if he really really wanted your help and towork things out he would not have ended the relationship.
You need to look after yourself and find someone that loves you and want to be with you.
You are not his mother and its not your job to sober him. You cannot hide behind the excuse you want to help. Let him go and move on.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2012): well to have any kind of a relationship - even 'just' a friendship - takes two people. whether you stay friends or not depends as much on what he wants as what you want. Just tell him you would like to stay friends, and define what that means so there's no miscommunication about expectations. then you just have to live your life and let that be your living 'proof' that you've now got it together.
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