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anonymous
writes:
About 3 weeks ago my boyfriend of 14 months broke up with me. He is a very insecure person and often accused me of seeing someone else etc, even though we spent practically everyday together.
This came to a ahead 3 weeks ago and he said he couldn't be with me anymore and that was it. I then hassled him with messages and phonecalls for about a week, mainly because I was angry and hurt because he left me for no good reason other that what he believe is true.
Anyway, we started to patch things up and then last weekend he asked me to come round and said it was over again. By this point I had resolved myself not to contact him again as I was not going to put myself through the humliation of trying to get him back when he clearly doesn't know what he wants.
We then met a week later and spent a few hours together and everything was fine, there was no shouting, crying or screaming and it was like it was when we were together. He then asked me to stay over and I said no, that it was too soon and I didn't want to get confused about what is happening between us. He then calls me the next day asking to see me and I said no, resulting in him hanging up the phone.
What I am really asking advice about it what do I do. If we went back out now it would just fall apart as he needs to sort out whether he can really trust me and stand to have me do things on my own without him feeling I am seeing someone else. However, I do still love him as we did have a good relationship and I have never been so close to anyone, so I am scared to let him go, but then at the sametime I am trying to be strong to protect my feelings in case he decides it isn't working again.
I am so confused I don't know what I want. Help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2005): I dont give out too much relationship advice, so im sorry if you get much out of what i have to say. It doesnt seem to me that your problem is all that complex. First of all you both need to need to sit down with eachother and talk. You need to firgure out what he wants and feels about the relationship. Its also very important that the two of you talk without yelling or arguing. You need to make sure you keep a contolled conversation. Im sorry i dont have an answer of whether or not you should make up. If he has been having a problem trusting you for awhile, he probably wont change even if he says he is going to. Secondly if he continues to play games with your relationship, then its time to move on because you shouldnt have to waste your time with someone like that. Like I said earlier, my advice to you is to calmly talk to him. I dont believe you can find the correct answer to your question within yourself or with someone online. Talk to him, and if he isnt mature enough to be calm and talk then i think you know what you have to do. I hope what I've had to say will help you.
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