A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My wife and I have had difficulties in the last few years with certain issues over what I believed were chiefly trust and honesty problems raised by my wife's secrecy and recent unfaithfulness. My wife at first balked, then agreed to seek help. We have been going to a marriage and sex specialist, whom I had begun to trust. But now she has told me that my sexual style is too conventional and rigid and that if I want to keep my wife, I had better change my outlook and behavior.The psychologist told me, right there in front of my wife that, in her opinion, my wife's secrecy was her attempt to retain some shred of self-respect as my narrow selfish views had forced her to hide her needs and feelings from me. I think we should change doctors. My wife refuses. Has anyone had this experience themselves? Any advice? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2010): When men cheat it is their fault. When women cheat it is their husband/BF's fault.
This seems to be the view your therapist is taking. They are wrong. Get another therapist.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2010): Most therapists are feminists and have latent anti male tendencies and views so yes I would change therapists. If you are not comfortable with this therapist then it won't work.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2010): Is the councilor fair in their assessment, or always one sided. If one sided, change - if fair, gut it out!~
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2010): If your counselor leans to any side as opposed to being loyal to a strategy you both use, you deff need a different counselor.
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