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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I are mid 20's and have been to gether near on 4 yrs and living together for 3 of them. We generally get on well but I have started to notice there is no more "spark".I'm starting to notice that we only seem to eat, sleep and watch TV together. I have tried to initiate activities - but we really don't seem to have anything in common and I'm starting to wonder if we ever had anything in common.Weekends day are usually spent doing our own chores/erans, and nights he is at his mates getting drunk and me at home or at with my friends. I don't drink very often so getting drunk every weekend is not for me, and when I do go to his mates with him (if I'm drinking or not) I usually end up sitting by myself (none of his mates have girlfriends). Going to the pub is about the same, if I go with him and his mates I end up dancing or at the bar by myself and feel guilty for chatting or dancing with other guys as I have a bit of a flirty nature and they might get the wrong idea, or it just causes arguments when we get home.Most of my girlfirend are either Married, have kids, pregnat or overseas so none of them are really into going out much.I'm starting to feel quite down about the whole relationship and wonder if it is just time to move on.My boyfirend is a trades man and not one to talk about "feelings" and very defencive. So the mention that I'm not happy gets the respose "well what do you want to do about it".I do love him very much and I know he loves me to but I've kind of come to a dead end.Any thoughs??Bec
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, Tim, writes (28 January 2005): A suggestion to your problem maybe, because I have experinced similar problems myself, being married with 5 children so it's slightly different I spose is to have a set night for just the two of you,none of his mates or yours and spend some quality time together,i.e stay in and watch a movie with a bottle of wine or find something you are both interested in and dedicate that night to do that and just the two of you,and maybe the spark will return,it did for me and my wife cos we'd been married for 3years and the relationship seemed stale,we both loved each other but it was like same old same old if you know what I mean,we took time out to spend with each other and it was great like meeting up all over again.Good luck.. T.
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